Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/January 6

208 BCE - Archimedes invents the refrigerator magnet but it fails to attract even an icebox.
1642 - Michelangelo paints his first graffiti. He is caught but the judge shows leniency by only having him burned at the stake.
1882 - Donald Rumsfeld is born, if that term can be used loosely.
1886 - The Statue of Liberty is officially decommissioned from being a national monument to a lighthouse.
1889 - Oscar Fingal O'Flahertie Wills Wilde is formally admitted to the Catholic church just so he can be excommunicated for insulting the Pope's girlfriend, Bessie the sheep.
1901 - Mongolia's population finally increases to 24.
1902 - The Statue of Liberty turned back into national monument after the French finish getting rid of all their trash, now known as French-Canadians.
1967 - The US Supreme Court hands down its landmark decision in Pot v. Kettle which legalizes hypocrisy.
1973 - The cubicle is invented. Office workers can now graffiti with Post-It notes instead of constantly going to the bathroom.
1982 - The following people are born: 2,394 Jameses, 9887 Johns, 1 Satayanarayan Ranganathan Rama Appuswami Ganapathy, Jr.
2010 - Uranus officially undergoes a name change to avoid ridicule; henceforth called Urectum.
2012 - Urectum officially undergoes name change to avoid ridicule: henceforth called Urmum.
2188 - The Arizona Cardinals win their first Super Bowl when no other team is in the NFL.
2200 - Pigs evolve flight mechanism and wings. Many unlucky men finally get that first date.

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