Post-It note

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“I do like sticking post it notes in front of the screen.”
~ Oscar Wilde on Post-It Notes

Post-it note[edit]

Post-it notes are small pieces of dwarf beard that are pressed to make a yellow slime often mistaken as paper. They are never, in any circumstances, to be put through the postal system or, in essesnce, "posted." This however is completely ignored by the average hamster brained chav - who gnaws them up, excretes the remains and flicks them on to the nearest delighted walking ape, as long as it isn't Oprah.

Things that can be posted incluse dirigibles and miniture(and I mean, miniture) golf courses that have been designed specially to fit in envelopes by swiss cuckoo-clock designers that suddenly had the revelation that maybe there was more to life than finding more and more exciting ways to make small wooden birds pop out of clocks "every bloody hour".

The swiss revolutionary elements who had more sense did not create these Gnome fields and decided instead to make the cuckoo-clock go once every half past, as well as the average hourly go-er-of-er-ings associated with these cursed mechanized time-telling devices.

People that attempt to post a post-it are killing accountants, which is really cruel, and should be encouraged at all times.


Stickies are little creatures, that stick on to the inside of a monitor. They obviously have a sense of style and importance, so they have chosen to use the Macintosh as their chosen victimised computer. Usually on Mac OS X these days, they have resided in the Applications folder and the Dashboard (in Tiger only). They are often mistaken as a computerised form of post-it notes, where as they seem strangely enticing.

These creatures often change colour, content to what the user's whim is. They also seem not to mind being dragged around, and strected at any time. There are various theories to why this is. Many believe that it is a common masturbation for the creatures; and those of which have never touched stickies again. This theory is usually discredited by chavs.

If you own a proper PeeCee the two paragraphs above won't make sense.

Drug Value[edit]

Post it notes should also be considered as Class A drugs. This is because if you smoke the glue on the sticky bit it has the effect of Cocaine, Cannabis, Chalk, Benzocaine, Lallafrall, Huffed Kittens, Valium, Caffeine, LSD, PHP, USB, 1337, PruneScape and Dihydrocodeine combined. The effects also make people go dilusional believing that the users are the most important person on the planet and everyone beneath them is a student. It is well known that Castles are a large user of post it notes.

However, despite the highly sought after effects, this drug is not illegal at all. In fact, it is considered quite the opposite. This is because the only people who know about this are people who dont think much of students in the first place. This can include groups of people such as Castles, Housees, Televisions, and the evil Anne Robinson.