UnNews:Saudi Arabia tops Human Wrongs Watch
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| Saudi Arabia tops Human Wrongs Watch | 
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16 October 2015
NEW YORK, USA --The United Nations has been heckled over their appointment of Saudi Arabia to a top Human Wrongs job – apparently in recognition of their impressive statistic of beheading more people this year than Islamic State.
The election of Saudi Arabia's Faisal bin Hassan Trad to chair a panel of independent experts on the UN Human Wrongs Watch (HWW) follows a barrage of praise aimed at the Saudi regime over its treatment of minorities and its apparent fascination with capital punishment - also personified in the Mutaween or Mecca Vice.
Some examples cited by the UN in justification of the Saudi appointmemt are;
- One man's death while he was being boiled in oil for speaking with an unmarried woman named Siri on an iPhone.
- A young Saudi woman burned to death for converting to Scientology.
- A young Lebanese man arrested and drawn-and-quartered by 4 elephants for possession of illegal and immoral rolling Dice
- Disemboweling a foreigner claiming to be Jack Bauer for hindering devout Muslim terrorist plots.
- Gouging-out the eyes of a sinner accused 3rd hand to have been doing business during "prayer time".
- Crucifying an Al Sharpton sound-alike for excessive bitching in non-Arabic..
- The public stoning of a hooker accused of full-facial nudity.
- Be-handing a money-lender for charging interest of 0.01% per annum.
- Be-heading a person a named Joseph for claiming to be God, the father of Jesus.
- Mercilessly bombing dirt-poor Somalia for the sin of fighting Saudi terrorists.
- Beheading 2,843 men women and children to fulfill their daily quota and provide Saudi television with sufficient gore for national viewers.
Although there are innumerable Sharia laws, not all are punishable by death. The following are a few examples of crimes under Wahabi law with more compassionate punishments:
- Failing Koran school is punishable by iPhone removal.
- Having a wet dream is punishable by sheet removal.
- Being female is punishable by freedom removal.
- Viewing Uncyclopedia is punishable by beard removal.
- Full-facial nudity is punishable by nose removal.
- Telling a joke is punishable by punch-line removal.
- Hearing a joke is punishable by sense of humor removal.
- Using the "F" word is punishable by tongue removal.
- Wanking is punishable by penis or clitoris removal.
...all carried out in full view of a cheering crowd of Arabs as well as being broadcast on TV throughout the Kingdom.
Mr Trad, Saudi Arabia’s ambassador at the UN in Geneva, was appointed to the role in June - shortly after the kingdom posted an advert for eight new executioners.
UN Human Wrongs Watch executive director Hillel Neuer described the move as a victory for cheap oil over human rights. Mr Neuer said: “Saudi Arabia has arguably the best record in the world when it comes to human wrongs like stone age religious murder, persecution of Gays, and women’s wrongs, and continues to flog innocent bloggers.”
Related article: Torture
Sources[edit]
- Repeater "Saudi Arabia tops Human Wrongs Watch". Express News UK, October 16, 2015