UnNews:Gerald Ford dies again?

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UnNews

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Thursday, November 21, 2024, 18:37:59 (UTC)

29 December 2006

President Gerald Ford, shortly after his 1st death.

RANCHO MIRAGE, California -- Former United States President Gerald Rudolph Ford, Jr. (born Leslie Lynch King, Jr.) has died, yet again, at his home in Rancho Mirage, California still at the tender age of 93. Previously, UnNews reported that Gerald Rudolph Ford, Jr. (born Leslie Lynch King, Jr.) had died in mid September, see UnNews:Former U.S. President Gerald Ford dies.

Early on in his life it was already known that he had the power to be re-born as somebody else. Apparently the former President, arose from the dead completely unnoticed and nobody cared. Unfortunately, we have no pictures of the incident unlike we have of him many times falling out of airplanes and stumbling to his feet again. As many of us witnessed him falling flat on his face and rising back to perfect health like nothing happened and gleeming, "I'm alright, I'm alright."

This shocking photo may be the reason why the former President's rise from the dead was kept secret, as he may have been accidentally re-re-born as a british citizen.

However, his second death did not go completely unnoticed. It was caught by some wise sprite at Wikipedia. Strangely, the two articles about his death look almost alike. While, the UnNews article was published about 4 months earlier, "there is no possible way the wikipedia writer ever reads UnNews articles," declares Jimbo.

In another twist, another daring UnNews writer reported earlier that in fact Gerald Ford was last seen on Wednesday 27 December 2006 at the local Dancehall Heaven in Miami, Southbeach. Is Gerald Ford stuck is some sort of bizarre time-rift?

But the serious questions really are; when will Gerald Ford rise again? Is Gerald Ford the new messiah? Or is this an example of just another kink in the grand scheme of the Wikipedia conspiracy? Can Gerald Ford kick Jesus' ass? or is Gerald Ford born again, this time, as Jesus? But a word to the wise, if you get really drunk and try to say "Gerald Ford", it comes out sounding like "Jesus"!