Tim Walz

Jolly Tim

Tim Walz is a Minnesotean politician. Whenever in Washington he goes jogging with vice pres Kamala Harris. Thus somehow he seems to be her running-mate. At least there's circumstantial evidence that they are often seen together running, always finishing their run by drinking together a hot maté. Of course any applicant for the next Boston Marathon would deny that just jogging is equivalent to real running. But the discussions about running or not running in that case Harris/Walz may lead to a significant popularisation of maté in the US.

Why Walz?

Professionally Tim Walz manages a state. Yes, a real state. Did you ever hear of a real state outside the United States? Minnesota is a real state. For him it's just a little piece of the big cake. And now he wants all of it. At the moment the job of governing the US is still in hands of Joe Biden, and after Biden Donald Trump or Kamala Harris will do it. The latter promised him a top job if she wins the elections. Because he had learned to speak Mandarin he'll get a very special job from a probable Mrs. President Harris: Calming down all the troubles with China. Thus Walz has begun to commit the whole content of the "Mao Bible" to his memory. He wants to heal the american-chinese relations so far that Xi Jinping will make the nicest possible gift to the White House: A real Panda. As pet for the US President. Kamala Harris loves pets. From that day she will delegate all presidential tasks to anybody whom she can grab in the House. Thus Tim Walz will take the chance to get it all. All presidential power.

Plan B

'I've got your back for now Kamala'.

Tim Walz likes governing. If Harris won't win the White House he'll stay in Minnesota to govern through as never ever before. At first he'll replace the state's National Guard by the Minnesota Vikings. He strongly believes that their ancestors have been the true discoverers of America. Of course he wants Danish to become the official state's language. If climate worsens towards more heat, his Vikings shall reconquer Greenland. That's cool. And then he'll rent all the Guantanamo convicts from the US Gov. as workers to cut all the Greenland ice into ice blocks which shall cool down Minnesota in that hot future.

And a propos "real state" Minnesota:Tim Walz wants to transform it into THE "real E-state": Everything electronically or electrically. Even the governor. Because there ain't any living person who ever could replace a Tim Walz in government.