Romanos II
“I have mixed for you one of my special coctails Romanos”
Byzantine emperor Romanos II had a shortish if busy reign. He was married twice, once to a foreign princess from Italy and secondly to a barmaid working in one of most raucous taverns in Constantinople. This makes him a lot more interesting than he actually was. You can, however, touch something that once belonged to the emperor. Romanos's chalice, an oversized drinking cup with his name etched on the side to make sure no one else used it. The chalice was looted by the Crusaders in 1204 and currently resides in a glass case in a museum in Germany. One other thing. Romanos was murdered by his wife.
Background[edit]
Romanos was born in "the purple" in 937. His parents were Constantine VII and Helena Lekapenos. Constantine had been emperor since he was aged six but had shown no great ability to be a ruler. He was a bookworm and a collector of tall tales and piles of manuscripts with rodent infestation. However the real power was held by Romanos I, a Byzantine sea dog with a winning career but now going grey around the muzzle. Constantine's wife Helena ensured her son was named after his granddaddy. It was a form of insurance.
However it had become a somewhat crowded throne room. Helena's brothers Stephanos and Constantine Lekapenos were also "co-emperors". However, in a series of palace rebellions and exile three of these rulers were removed in late 944 and early 945. The fusty Constantine now ruled alone, though in truth the real power was held by empress Helena. Shortly after little Romanos was crowned co-emperor. Helena was worried her husband would fall off a ladder whilst book hunting in the library.
Marriage One[edit]
Romanos's parents wanted an alliance with the family of King Hugh of Italy. He had a daughter called Bertha (from a coupling with one his concubines). Bertha was sent to Constantinople for her re-training as a Byzantine princess. She had her clothes changed from Frankish Beige-Mud to Imperial Purple. The Greeks decided Bertha's birth name as too barbaric and Germanic (same thing to them). She was renamed Eudokia and then she promptly died[1]. Romanos was a widower at the age of 12. Whether he was upset or not or (as she was a "smelly Frank"), probably relieved.
The young prince mooched around for the next few years. He had no apparent affinity to book studies and preferred to go chariot racing watching with his physically emasculated uncle Theophyact. The latter was another son of Romanos I but had gone into the religion business. Theophylact happened to be the Patriarch of Constantinople in his spare time. He also had a saying: "Horses are more fun than parishioners," which Romanos thought to be very funny.
It was perhaps it was on one of these trips out with his uncle that Romanos meet a woman who was to be second wife. She knew how to pull pints and short measure customers with Greek firewater. Her name was Theophano.
Marriage Two[edit]
Romanos first saw Theophano as she tottered around on high heels delivering drinks to the bar's customers. Theophano's attire would have been standard barmaid attire: white lace top with a generous amount of bare bosom on display. Romanos was smitten. A few raucous songs later, he wanted to marry her.
Romanos's parents tried to talk him out the match but he was insistent. It was Theophano or he would run away from home and sneak into a monastery and "have all my bits permanently removed". Since Romanos was the only male heir (no heir spare here), Constantine had to let the wedding go ahead. The rest of the family were appalled, a reaction Theophano made a note of for future revenge.
Theophano's lowly born status recalled the time of Justinian I and Theodora in the 6th century. Theophano couldn't do Theodora's ping-pong trick but she had studied chemistry at school. Especially mixing poisons. First she had to produce an imperial heir.
Murder She Wrought[edit]
In 958 Romanos celebrated the birth of his son Basil, later Basil II or Bazza the Bulgar Slayer as he is not favourably remembered by Bulgarians today. Constantine VII was disappointed that the boy wasn't named after him but soon disappeared back into his library. He seemed very fit for a 53-year-old man who had never fought a battle or had spent too much time hunting. But he developed a strange disease which so irritated his skin that he had to spend days stretched out on a bed naked. Theophano elbowed her mother-in-law empress Helena aside and took special care of Constantine — so special that he was dead within days.
Sniffy historians suggest that rumours that Theophano had killed Constantine were "mere gossip". Constantine was given a good send off by the new emperor Romanos II. The former pint puller was now empress too. She wanted changes! In a rapid series of events Romanos and Theophano fired most of the old advisors to the emperor and cleared out the emperor's mother and five sisters. They were all dumped into a convent to avoid "any trouble". It was a pretty brutal move, though no one else (for now) was killed.
Who's that warrior hunk?[edit]
The Byzantine empire had been reasonably quiet of late. No great further losses (except in Sicily) and no trouble with the Bulgarians either. In the West the German king Otto the Great had revived the Holy Roman Empire after a long period of its apparent redundancy since 925. The Byzantines (who still thought of themselves as Romans and therefore the only legitimate heir of that legacy) didn't officially recognise Otto as an emperor or as a putative imperial colleague, at least for now. Otto for his part wanted to marry into Romanos's family, matching his son Otto Junior with an available candidate. None of course were available. Romanos kept his sisters in their convent-nunnery prison.
What Romanos fancied was a war, a military expedition to reclaim lost territories. Sicily was the ultimate aim but for now there was another island that the Arabs had taken around the same time nearly 130 years earlier. This was Crete. Romanos thought about leading the attack in person but in the end listened to his imperial advisors (new ones) to send for a general called Nikephoros Phocas. A somewhat blunt and direct individual, he especially impressed Theophano. Phocas was an outsider like her. He may have been a trifle old but those muscles! Theophano compared to her soft-bodied husband. There was no contest. Lust was in the air!
Murder She Wrought, second season[edit]
Nikephoros's campaign to re-take Crete was a success. The Arab rulers were defeated and the island retaken. Nikephoros returned in triumph and got the full golden chariot treatment ride. Emperor Romanos congratulated himself for his choice of general and treated it as his victory. Nikephoros was invited to the imperial palace for dinner. It was there he properly saw Theophano for the first time. He was a good deal older than her and carried his battle scars with pride. He looked more of an emperor than Romanos.
Theophano had by this become a mother again, giving birth to a boy christened Constantine after his grandfather. Shame Theophano had killed C7 before he could see his namesake born. By now being married to Romanos II had evidently bored the restless empress. Romanos was no Justinian. Perhaps there was someone else she could look to?
When Theophano decided to kill her husband isn't clear. She was pregnant and expectant in March 963. Nikaphoros was out east campaigning against the Arabs. Romanos was spending all his time on the hunt. Theophano felt neglected and in pain. When her husband turned up back at the palace and seemed less than in a hurry to see her, a revengeful empress mixed a potion for hubby emperor by leaving a bottle of her killer brew in his private drinks cabinet. Whatever was in the mix it was effective. Romanos drank it, complained of a headache and then dropped down dead. Some may have suspected Theophano but she had moved to the special purple room to have her third child, a baby daughter called Anna just two days later. In there she was beyond arrest.
Legacy[edit]
Romanos's short reign and his largely anonymous character has turned attention to his second wife Theophano. She had "supplied" three healthy children and was now a widow, barely into her 20s and still looking for more adventure/fun. Romanos quickly faded from memory.
References[edit]
- ↑ One story was she tripped over a carpet and broke her neck
| Preceded by: Constantine VII |
Byzantine Emperor 959–963 |
Succeeded by: Nikephoros II |
