|Time for your medication|
Uncyclopedia Articles are really important. Without them, I have no idea how we'd manage to waste unproductive time doing absolutely nothing. I mean, that's the very essence of what Uncyclopedia is. Hell, if not for uncyclopedia articles, we'd pretty much be up Shit creek, you know? We wouldn't even have Uncyclopedia. We'd would be sitting there, staring at a blank screen, wondering what to do... kinda boring, yes?
Right. That's why they're important.
Recognizing an Uncyclopedia Article
Look at the top of your web browser. Up in the left corner, do you see a logo?
No, not that corner. The other one. The one on your left. Other left. Yeah, there you go. Okay, you see the funny potato-looking puzzle thing up there? You should. That means you're reading an Uncyclopedia article. If you're ever not sure, just check for the reassuring potato.
Also Look For
- Kitten Huffing.
- A gratuitous amount of links to AAAAAAAAA!.
- No Redeeming Value.
- Bill Bennett.
- Oscar Wilde quotes.
- The picture of me having sex with your mom.
Anyone can write a featureable article, so long as you have a decent basis in humor, love ninjas, and are an expert on Machiavellian politics so that you can work your way up to the top on popularity alone. Should you not be a master of politics, here's a few tips to help you get on your way.
Immediately write down whatever genius idea comes into your head. Write about people you know, perhaps. What about that guy you hate? I bet everyone would love to read about him, he does the stupidest stuff. Right?
Maybe you should write about the president of the United States, too, but give him a funny name, like President Gaywad. It's not hard; just get started, and it'll start coming easier to you over time.
A good Uncyclopedia article will include a number of hyperlinks. This ensures that the entire content of your article can be properly referenced, and will make it far more accessible to your readers. Include references to Undictionary to assist in the disambiguation of your terminology used.
Despite the fact that you're new here, you are the arbiter of justice and rightness on the site. Your word is law, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Your articles are unmitigated genius; anyone who deletes them is a faggot loser, and you need to make sure that they know that.
Because you, my friend, are the only one that matters, on the entire internet.
Hey, as long as we're on this topic, maybe... and this is just throwing this out there... you should write an article about ninjas and pirates fighting. Like, a war. No one's thought of that one before, and you could totally be the first one. How awesome is that?
All uncyclopedia articles must contain an absolute minimum of, exactly, four hundred and twenty eight references to Euroipods. Ensure that your work ALWAYS includes references to Euroipods. If you don't make the requisite four hundred and twenty eight references, you have almost no chance of being voted for feature article.
Alternatively, you could talk about kitten huffing the whole time. It's still hilarious, even after all this time.
Fake Oscar Wilde quotes
“I fucking love quotes about me.”
“The only way to make a decent article is by using a lot of really bad Oscar Wilde quotes on the top. Also, you should make up as many quotes as you can possibly think of that are even mildly funny; after all, the quotes are the only real meat in articles. Everything else is just pointless filler.”
Examples of Good Uncyclopedia Articles
- Euroipods - There is absolutely no flaw to be found in this article, and you should strive to meet it.
Examples of Bad Uncyclopedia Articles
- Euroipods - The pinnacle of unmitigated failure, this gobshite article made it to the front page, and has since become a sick joke of a featured article. One should never allow themselves to write an article like this.
- This article, the one you're reading - God, what a fucking piece of shit this is.