Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/May 9

May 9: Weird Types of Bear Appreciation Day (Australia: Drop Bear, China: Panda bear, Canada: Bipolar bear)

• 1337 - Wolverine is born, slashing his way out of his mother's womb. He was fine.
• 1429 - Joan of Arc entertains the English troops with a medley of show-songs from Bedknobs & Broomsticks.
• 1431 - Joan of Arc entertains more English troops with another medley of songs, this time from "Deadknobs and Burning-sticks" as she is set alight.
• 1497 - Vasco da Gama perfects the eye-watering fart. He is then exiled as far away as possible and manages to reach India.
• 1627 - An edict is passed in Switzerland requiring all lawyers to deliver evidence by yodelling. (pictured)
• 1671 - Pope Clement X is killed by the Queen's Guard while on a visit to England, being mistaken for that guy who stole the crown jewels in a pope costume.
• 1700 - Mr. T pities another fool. His work would never be done.
• 1861 - At the age of seven, Oscar Wilde begins his first job, working as a witticist's apprentice in a local humor emporium.
• 1934 - Anteaters formally name themselves the aardvark, seeking the lucrative first spot in taxonomy classifications.
• 1941 - SS chief Heinrich Himmler orders the arrest and deportation to concentration camps of all homosexuals in Germany. The German Army, once the most fashionable in the world, soon find themselves poorly groomed and wearing fatigues that clash with their boots.
• 1982 - Wikipedia destroys the Andromeda Galaxy. The destruction has not been seen yet due to the slowness of light speed.
• 1991 - Small, Medium, and Large complain to the United Nations, that Extra Large is abusing its position. The UN introduce sanctions, however these are withdrawn when it becomes known that size does not matter.
• 2008 - John Prescott admits to his bulimia being fraudulent after being caught on a 72-hour Pizza Hut binge.
• 2030 - Waldo is found.