UnNews:Study reveals that 2 out of 5 immigrants "eat cheese"

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search

We have met the enemy, and he is us UnNews Thursday, November 21, 2024, 20:05:59 (UTC)

Study reveals that 2 out of 5 immigrants "eat cheese" UnNews Logo Potato.png

11 December 2007

You want these people to eat all our cheeses? WELL DO YOU!?

MORE THAN 40% of ALL over the counter cheese purchases last year were to overseas migrants an official report (sponsored by The Daily Mail) on the impact of migration revealed today. Further more old British stalwart cheeses such as edam and Brie are being sidelined by exotic cheeses "you wouldn't feed your dog".

The study, by the Government's National Statistics body, shows that out of around 950,000 portions of cheese bought in Britain last year only around 300,000 were purchased by those of British white middle class stock. Other findings reveal that while cheese eating rates are rising in the general populace, the biggest cheese consumers are those who have migrated into the UK within the last 5 years.

Surprisingly, the most prolific cheese-eaters are among Pakistani, Indian or Bangladeshi-born women - who accounted for five per cent of ALL cheese consumption - with those from EU countries outside Britain and Ireland accounting for a further four per cent of all cheese eating.

Today's findings come in a report by National Cheese Statistician Karen Dunnell focusing on the impact of migration on cheese eating habits and the population. Previous research has projected that by 2034 immigrants will account for 70% of cheese consumption, leaving us white, middle class Britains to feed off the crumbs and scraps left behind.

Foreign bastardos!

PureCheese.gif
The 12 Fundamental Cheeses
Fromunda
*Not to be confused with "Holey" Cheese
The 3 Noble Cheeses
*Also known as "Negative Cheese" or "Dark Dematta"


Sources[edit]