Nonce words

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This nonce invented the term "little one".

Nonce words are words and phrases created by people attempting to groom those under the legal age. Nonce words are often only used once; if they were repeated, it might be a tell that would spoil the chances to gain a nonce badge.


One British man really doesn't like caravans.

In 1912, when English Police arrested the first pedophile, other pedophiles who were not yet caught, nor had actually had sex with any children yet, were referred to by the press as "nonces". The term came about in protest to Australian and New Zealand RV company NCE and the public saying "no" to them coming to the UK. When it was revealed that the motorhome company wasn't actually coming to England, all the printed signs saying "No NCE" were re-purposed to be shown at the trial of the pedo who was arrested.

Dr. Seuss

A Seuss essay published before he turned to the subliminal.

Dr. Seuss, although never charged, was one of the biggest nonces in the world. He would often use his children's books to plant subliminal messages into a child's head that having sexual relations with a man 50 years their senior was okay. Unfortunately for Seuss, but luckily for the parents and kids, due to all the random words and weird sentence structure, the non-medical Doctor failed to achieve his desired brainwashing.

To avoid suspicion that he was a nonce, Seuss invented the term "Nonce word", which is when an author makes up a new word though he or she uses it only once. What a nerd.

Hollywood nonces

Nonces in Hollywood have tried to improve on Seuss' method with varying results. Directors, writers, producers, and even sometimes actors sneak nonce words into scripts to subconsciously implant the word into the mind of the people watching, children and adults alike.

However, few Hollywood nonces end up killing themselves in prison, Jeffrey Epstein being the exception that proves the rule.

Mickey's invective toward the Republican Legislature itself took a turn toward the pervy when he charged that they were all "fucking Goofy" (center).

In 2022, the Walt Disney Corporation became entertainment's greatest nonce. Film executives eagerly vowed to insert the paedo theme in every new Disney and Marvel Comics release. For example, in Thor: Love and Thunder, the Norse god's pick-up line for his pubescent prey was, "Do you want to touch my hammer?"

Movie ticket sales went to Hell, no doubt an effect of the Coronavirus pandemic of 2020. However, when Disney took pro-paedo positions on curriculum legislation in its home state of Florida, it aroused the wrath of Republican governor Ron DeSantis. He retaliated by pushing through a bill depriving Walt Disney World of its self-governing status, subjecting it to the political vagaries of the two adjoining townships in which its acreage is located. Mickey Mouse — not just a cuddly mascot but the Roads Commissioner of the now-decommissioned Disney County — said the vengeful move would result in higher ticket prices and longer lines to get into the Futurama.

Law enforcement

In recent years due to the rise of computers and the internet, crimes against children have also risen. In response, police and intelligence agencies have gone undercover in these "pedo rings" by using nonce words. A few of these agents have even invented their own nonce words to not blow their cover. Most of the time, these undercover agents get so swept up in using nonce words that they become actual nonces themselves, as when undercover cops posing as drug buyers/dealers become junkies.

Because of this, most kiddy fiddlers turn out to be government employees. This is why Chris Hansen had trouble on his show To Catch a Predator. The officers conducting the sting covered their tracks in real time so that Hanson would not ask them to "have a seat".

In government

Kids are liked not only by lawmen but by lawmakers. Many of the latter, although adequately sneaky in other matters, commit a giant tell when they file bills to lower the age of consent, shorten the Statute of Limitations, and give child trafficking comparable subsidies to solar cells and weed.

Nonces in Parliament also use their power to influence private institutions, such as dictionary editors. Over the years, many have tried to insert their own nonce words. Most notable is the case of Bill Clinton abusing a 21-year-old child. His own nonce word of choice is "is". When asked if he could elaborate, Clinton, who was the President at the time, responded with "It depends on what the meaning of the word ‘is’ is. Is she a child? Or is she a child?"

Clinton tried to convince the public that the girl was not considered a child in countries such as Australia where the legal age was 18, and that the United States should also lower the legal age so that no charges would be laid against him. In the end, Congress did not make 21-year-olds adults; and the dictionary editors did not add a new meaning of "is", as they could not understand what Clinton even meant.

See also

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