Kenny Hotz
This person is God
“He's funnier than me!”
“He's funnier than Dane Cook!”
“Kenny's hot.”
“Who the hell is Kenny Hotz?”
| The Lord God King Kenneth Jay Hotz III | |
|---|---|
 | |
| Born | May 3, 1967 Los Angeles, California, USA |
| Disappeared | May 4, 1967 (aged 1 day) Las Vegas, Nevada, USA |
| Status | Found |
| Monuments | The Statue of Liberty |
| Residence | Las Vegas |
| Nationality | American, God |
| Other names | Kenny Hotz, Kenny's Hot, Kendra Hotz |
| Ethnicity | George Clooney |
| Citizenship | American |
| Education | Doctorate in vagitarianism |
| Occupation | God King |
| Years active | 1985-present |
| Employer | Kenny Hotz Film, Sonofabitch Productions, Adam and Kenny Productions |
| Known for | Being Kenny Hotz |
| Notable works | The Universe |
| Influenced | Everyone |
| Net worth | 50 trillion (est. 2013) |
| Political party | Marijuana Party |
| Opponent(s) | Spencer Rice |
| Religion | Rastafari |
| Criminal charge | Arson, public nudity, driving under the influence of drugs and alcohol, driving naked, murder, theft, possession of marijuana |
| Criminal status | At large |
| Spouse | Jenna Coleman (2001-present) |
| Partner | Spencer Rice (1981-present) |
| Relatives | Barbra Streisand (mother) Mel Brooks (father) Tim Baker (son) |
Kenneth Jay "Kenny" Hotz is an American writer, director, actor, politician, and television personality. He is best known as being the creator of the animated TV series South Park, Kenny vs. Spenny, and its spin-off Kenny vs. Spenny vs. Jenny, as well as being the leader of the American Marijuana Party since 2005.
Kenny has been in show business since 1985, and since then has garnered international notoriety, being recognized in most circles as the perfect example of a human being. He has many followers who worship him in Satanic rituals. He used to be considered Canada's George Clooney until people realized he was American.
Biography[edit]
Early life[edit]
Kenneth Jay Hotz was born on May 3, 1967 to mother Barbra Streisand and father Mel Brooks in Los Angeles, California. According to his parents, he was originally to be named Kenny Brooks, but then they realized how amazingly beautiful beyond human comprehension he was, so instead, his last name was changed to Hot. Mel Brooks has dyslexia, so it came out as "Hotz", which is coincidentally a real (Jewish, at that) last name, so they decided to leave it as it was.
The newborn Hotz proved to be intelligent above the average human infant as well, running away to what would later become his favorite place in the whole world: Las Vegas, Nevada. He was found by authorities the next day, unharmed, but very drunk.
The alcohol proved beneficial, however, as it somehow altered young Kenny's brain to form a super-intelligent child. Hotz now had perfect woman skills and perfect comedic timing. Both of these skills were key in winning the heart of Kenny's longtime partner Spenny Hotz (ne Rice), according to the latter.
Growing up, Kenny was embraced by all he encountered, which, according to him, inflated his ego to the point where he felt he could conquer the world, a dream of his he would later accomplish.
When he was 19, Hotz started attending Harvard university where he received a doctorate in the sex-related discipline of vagitarianism. On his final test, he scored one hundred percent.
Television career[edit]
Kenny vs. Spenny[edit]
After watching the 2008 hit film The Dark Knight, Hotz became inspired by the Joker's line in the film "If you're good at something, never do it for free." He instantly realized that he was most skilled in torturing his partner Spencer Rice, so he decided to capitalize on that immediately. Hotz pitched his idea for a new show to Fox called Kenny vs. Spenny, which involved Kenny and Spencer competing in various weekly competitions that would result in glory for the winner and humiliation for the loser. After hearing the idea, Fox instantly commissioned ten seasons of the proposed program.
Kenny vs. Spenny ran nonstop, every week of the year, from 2008 to 2012, with an average episode garnering 38 million overnight viewers, mostly from single men between the ages of 14 and 25. The show concluded on December 31st, 2012, to make way for a new show brewing in Hotz's mind.
Kenny vs. Spenny vs. Jenny[edit]
Starting on January 1st, 2013, new episodes of Kenny vs. Spenny have aired every week nonstop, with the modified title of Kenny vs. Spenny vs. Jenny to incorporate the new star of the show and Kenny's wife Jenna Coleman from Doctor Who. The show now mostly involves the three costars having massive orgies and eating angel food cake but still manages to hold on to Kenny vs. Spenny audiences.
Testees[edit]
In 2009, Kenny debuted an original program titled Testees on his website. The episodes consisted of Kenny showing his testicles to the camera for 22 minutes. The show was canceled after only one season because nobody wanted to watch it.
Kenny Hotz's Triumph of the Will[edit]
After the critical and financial failure of Testees, Hotz sought to replace it with a new show entitled Triumph of the Will. The show was pitched to Fox in 2010, but was turned down for the reason of being "basically Kenny vs. Spenny without Spenny".
Doctor Who[edit]
Hotz has been a major driving force behind the long-running BBC original soap opera Doctor Who. He began as a writer for the program(me) in early 2000, writing the season one unreleased episodes The Doctor Has Sex, Carrlek, and The Long Gay. After impressing creator of the show Steven Moffat with his witty one-liners and penis jokes, Hotz was made head writer and began penning new episodes for season 5 onward.
As head writer, Hotz wrote the season 5 episodes The Eleven-Incher, Flesh and Boner, The Hungry Bitches, The Vagina Opens and The Big Bang Theory, and all the episodes for season six and seven, as well as the upcoming 50th anniversary special.
“It's gonna be bigger, better, and sexier than the show.”
Kenny is responsible for creating the fan-favorite characters of Captain Jack Harkness, the Eleventeenth Doctor, and Amy Pond. On the subject of the Eleventeenth Doctor, Hotz was reported saying that he wanted to reinvent the Doctor as a twelve-year-old immature baby with a fetish for bowties and fezzes who is awkward in romantic situations involving hot women because he is gay. Hotz said he did this because he thought it would be funny. After that plan backfired, Hotz immediately replaced the Doctor with Peter Capaldi, who is promised to have "way more balls" than his predecessor.
The Big Bang Theory[edit]
Hotz has also been credited with the creation of the popular children's program The Big Bang Theory. The show was conceived by Hotz as a spinoff of Doctor Who, with Jim Parsons playing the part of the Doctor and Kaley Cuoco playing the Doctor's companion Rose. Hotz littered the show with Jewish jokes, swearing, and extensive sexual innuendo to the point where it had to be removed from Cartoon Network for being too inappropriate. The show has since been revived by Chuck Lorre with an entirely different concept. For an in-depth analysis of the reimagining of the series, see this article.
Episodes of the original Big Bang series can still be viewed if illegally obtained on the black market or if you visit Kenny and get him drunk enough to lend you a copy.
King of Earth[edit]
Though there is no official ruler of the planet Earth, Hotz has been considered the most powerful man in the world by both himself, Adam Savage, and Seth MacFarlane. With his vast amount of money gained from his many successful shows, Kenny has bought The Walt Disney Company, Fox, Warner, and Perez Hilton, giving him near infinite influence over the human race. He has also been considered the most beautiful human in existence as well, which carries its own weight in the way of being influential, according to Hotz.
Personal life[edit]
Kenny Hotz has been dating Spencer Rice since 1981. The couple met when they were only five years old. Both Kenny and Spenny admit that it is an abusive relationship and that Spenny is basically just Kenny's punching bag, but they are reportedly still together.
Kenny married actress Jenna Coleman in 2001, but continued his relationship with Spenny as well. All three of them are currently in an open relationship.
Hotz maintains that he is not religious, turning his back on his Jewish roots. However, he is a part of the Rastafari movement, quite simply for the reason that it allows him to smoke a lot of weed.
Accolades[edit]
Kenny is the recipient of many awards for his contributions to the human race. Many record enthusiasts have theorized that he may have the most awards of any individual in the history of awards. They credit this to the fact that Hotz is "awesome beyond all reason", "God", and "so very hot". Many women have reportedly given Hotz trophies for no reason in particular.
Hotz is most notably the recipient of the Funniest Motherfucker award given to him by Spike TV. The award was previously held by Jim Carrey, Dane cook, and Jack Black. All three of these stars have since given their awards to Hotz out of respect.
Hotz was also a recipient of the Order of Canada for accomplishing so much in his life. The award was later taken away when the Canadian government realized that Hotz was indeed an American. The award was later re-gifted to Wayne Gretzky.
Kenny Hotz Approved
This article is Kenny Hotz approved. It likely has extensive references to drugs, sex, and/or goats. "I am Kenny Hotz and I approve this message."