Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/February 8

February 8: Worship an Idol Day (Canaan), Weorshcipe an Heathern God Dai ([Eald England])

• 4527 BCE - The Eald Englanders worship Odin, although he has not yet obtained an official God licence (for your own contact 0800-GOD-LICENCE-PLEASE (US only)), as he was licenced under Zeus (0300).
• 1856 BCE - Hebrews arrive at the Promised Land, start worshipping Baal (then no licence, now under 2110).
• 1020 BCE - Rome built in 23 hours and 58 minutes.
• 407 BCE - The Olmecs pray to their rain god and are rewarded with huge amounts of rain. Unfortunately, their later prayers to the god of swimming lessons are not heard and the civilization is wiped out.
• 33 - Jesus visits 50 people at the same time and laughs about how they try to explain it while watching from his cloud.
• 76 - Roman philosopher Flushibus Maximus publishes his masterpiece, Indoor Plumbing, the Devil Incarnate. Rome is destroyed by typhoid.
• 77 - Romans pray for deliverance from typhoid. Their pleas are answered by the twin goddesses of tripping and falling and the god of lead poisoning.
• 1755 - In Massachusetts, John Kerry and the Antipope offer 20 pounds for scalps of Native American boys and girls, Protestants, and Senate Majority Leaders.
• 1819 - Mary Shelley creates Frankenstein. The beast runs amok and destroys most of the species on Earth. Charles Darwin is inspired by this and together with Richard Dawkins creates the theory of evilution.
• 1925 - Rl'yeh rises from the ocean floor. The Cthulhu Cult rejoices. The rest of the world shits their pants.
• 1926 - Simon Cowell rises from the ocean floor. The Cult of Insincere and Soulless Cover Songs rejoices.
• 2001 - California Adventure establishes its independence from Disneyland, with the aid of terrorists Don al-Duck and Huey Hussein.
• 2008 - Osama bin Laden is elected member of Parliament for Bradford, Leeds (UK).