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“It might remind one on slingshot, just less complicated...”

~ Albert Einstein on Astronautics

“The earth was blue, but we had no fuel.”

~ Yuri Gagarin on Astronautics

The beginnings[edit]

The father of astronautics was, and forever will be Jules Verne whilst mom was the USSR. First signs were shown during the World War Two where Germans were desperate in proving their theories to the English, but brits obviously never got the point.

Frankly: no one really saw the point in it.

Americans still fail to locate Canada and wasting resources on targeting Mexico was purely pointless.

Russians couldn't afford something they don't understand anyway.

To Chinese it was just another thing that doesn't make rice.

Eventually someone implied that moon is made of cheese so race for global domination over cheese industry began.

Noah's ark[edit]

The chronological order of events has proven us that moon was to become one large zoo, in space program later on referred to as Noah's ark:

1949 - americans send monkey into space

1949 - reds do nothing

1950 - americans send some weed into space

1951 - reds send dog into space

1961 - reds send man into space

1961 - french send mouse into space

1963 - french send cat into space

After the Cool war - the space program Noah's ark ended and thus began space program of mutual cofuckeration based on the movie "independence day".

Danger from above[edit]

In truth - aliens found out about us - and declared war for weed and chineese cousine (now you all understand why we never got the animals back). But the war didn't last long as Cuban space project required sending cocaine and heroine in space - purely for radiation tests. Fidel never saw that shipments again, but for some incredibly strange reasons aliens started crashing on Earth on locations like: Area 51, Bosnia, Bermuda triangle... etc.


The daring plan of United Nations is to form an ant colony on Mars, and sending scientists to declare if the planned it destroyable, eatable or just another hunk in the solar system. Still many nations are in dispute with the purpose of the moon:

Americans think we have to nuke it - although they are still looking for the reason (some senators state that it blocks our view on the stars).

French demand it's independence and freedom.

Russians want to paint it in red.

Bosnians are considering to send some Serbs over.

Brasilians desire to play soccer in 0 gravity field.

Cezchs want to destilate it and make some absinthe.

Germans already declared war to it.

British think it's late again.

Japan has plans to make a Playstation factory there.

Pope wants to baptize it.

Jeery Seinfeld still wonders...


“As loong as we agree it will all be fine.”

~ George Bush on Solar system

See Also[edit]