Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/June 17

June 17: Presidential Mullet Day, Bill Clinton Sex Definition Day

• c.7000 BCE - First Intel PC domesticated.
• 1707 - The Knig of Svïden celebrates his 25th birthday by hosting an 80s party. The music of Sir Henry Purcell hits the charts in Svïden, but Bach and Händel have no old music to rip off. Vivaldi expresses his hope that the Knig could hurry up and die.
• 1878 - Mount Everest is built by Nepal to encourage tourism growth and annoy Tibet.
• 1885 - The Statue of Liberty arrives in New York Harbor and agrees to stand the test of time.
• 1969 - Godzilla defeats his Chinese nemesis, Maozilla.
• 1970 - A child is born. Well done, you! And without a physician or midwife? Clever Dick!
• 1972 - Christmas is ruined forever.
• 1982 - Star Wars Episode VII: The Phantom Boner hits retail stores as a straight-to-video release.
• 1992 - Lieutenant Planet is promoted to Captain Planet.
• 1994 - Homer "O.J." Simpson is chased down and arrested on suspicion of murdering his ex-wife Nicole Brown Simpson and Ned Flanders.
• 1994 - Judge Lance Ito becomes the most famous human being ever.
• 1995 - Activists raid a waffle breeding facility and manage to set thousands of waffles bred in captivity free. Using waffles for clothing and drug paraphernalia will be banned in 1999.
• 2001 - Millions agree that Special K ain't that special after all.
• 2002 - Billions wonder what happened to the Regular K.
• 2003 - Trillions get together on the interwebs and invent Super K.
• 2004 - Willie Nelson finally gives up on the Rubik's cube.