UnNews:Spielberg masterpiece Flintstones coming to Blu-ray

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6 June 2011

Steven Spielberg confirmed to AICN's Cliff Vandercave that his thriller The Flintstones was headed for Blu-ray.

HOLLYROCK, Bedrock -- Director and producer Steven Spielberg has announced that his terrifying 1994 film, The Flintstones, directed by Brian Levant, will finally get the Blu-ray hi-def treatment.

When Ain't It Cool News' Cliff Vandercave (who takes his name from Kyle MacLachlan's character) asked if there was a Flinstones Blu-ray in the works, Spielberg replied:

“ Yes, there is. Yes, there is. I've already seen some of it. I don't have a date yet, but there's a paycheck... er, I mean, a Blu-ray absolutely in the works. ”

Spielberg also spoke candidly of his philosophy to re-edit his older films with the latest technology and continually desecrate what made people like them in the first place.

A CGI John Candy, who died in 1994, has been confirmed by Spielberg.

"George [Lucas] is a good friend of mine," he says. "And I was gullible enough to fall for his filmmaking philosophy. I'm gonna throw in a shitload of changes to the film. I'm gonna replace John Goodman with a CGI John Candy, voiced by Uncle Ted from Bobby's World. The shark is gonna be CGI, too. Chief Brodystone is gonna blow up the shark with a walkie-talkie. I'm gonna digitally make Rick Moranis fat and Rosie O'Donnell thin. I'm gonna replace Halle Berry as Sharon Stone with the real Sharon Stone. I'll replace that bitch Elizabeth Taylor with Betty White to boost sales. And that's not even the tip of the iceburg. I'll keep mum until the bitch is released."

Perhaps you remember The Flintstones. Based on the 1960s television cartoon, the John Goodman "comedy" terrified moviegoers and kept caves empty for several years afterward. It was considered to be the first modern-er blockbuster, and spawned the craptactular prequel, The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas starring the fat guy from Still Standing and The Full Monty, as well as Stephen Baldwin. Recently, Seth McFarlane has bought the rights to the property.

The 1994 film starred John Goodman, Elizabeth Perkins, Rick Moranis, Rosie O'Donnell, Kyle MacLachlan, Halle Berry, Richard Moll, Elizabeth Taylor, Jonathan Winters, The B-52s, Harvey Korman as the Dictabird, archival audio of Mel Blanc as Dino, Stan Lee as a money-grabbing cameo actor, and George W. Bush as a monkey.

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