UnNews:Sesame Street Rated TV-MA
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This article may not be suitable for all audiences. This article contains content not suitable for people with the brain of a person under 14 inches (35.5cm) tall or TransVestites. |
24 November 2007
UNDER 18 IS EXIT AND OVER 18 IS ENTER
Breaking news! SESAME STREET, New York City, New New York --The popular children's show Sesame Street has been given an adults only rating by the Board of Family Friendly Ratings Safety Commission. It has given the long-running show this new rating after an intense and through review, the Board has announced yesterday.
Its website, http://www.sesameworkshop.com (along with all its directories and pages) were also blocked at school and replaced with a shock site.
A producer for the show, Brian Henson, said that
| “ | Not only has the aging of our target audience caused Sesame Street to change every year to allow new viewers. But this has also forced us to change the content of the show to meet society's standards. | ” |
This new content contains the following:
- Alcohol and drug references
- Blood (lotsa lotsa blood!)
- Cookies
- Big Bird smoking pot and having delusions of a character named "Snuffleupagus"
- Sumo (NSFW)
- Oscar the Grouch's bipolar disorder
- Attmepts to eat disorders
- Cookie Monster's diabetes
- Smoking and eating pipes
- Ernie and Bert's homosexuality
- Fatties (NSFW)
- Pedophilia (Especially an episode in which Bert is revealed to be an online predator)
- The Count's chronic masturbation
- Condoms
- Teenage pregnancy
- Urination fetishes
- Severe diarrhea
- "Fuzzy and Blue" supremacists: racism
- "No Dogs and Birds" allowed: discrimination
- "Girls can't play ball and can't think too": sexism
- Most popular episode #98765- Race war or Genocide.
"The show could no longer suit the needs of today’s preschool child," said the producer "So we had to change the content of the show to meet the needs to modern 4-year-olds' needs."
It was reported that the Sesame Street characters formed their own gang, put Mr. Hooper out of business and possibly murdered him as well during the Battle of Sesame Street.
The first episode this season, entitled "Trapped in the Closet", will take place in Seattle, Wahington where Bert and Ernie take part in a gay pride parade, revealing their homosexuality.
"We've been wanting to do that one for years," says Frank Oz, the longtime voice of Bert. "But PBS and the parents would have sued our asses a long time ago."
It has also been announced by the studio in charge of the production has also contacted "Fisher Price" to include profanity in the new "Kick My Ass Elmo" just in time for the Christmas holiday, and the popular toy will now contain phrases such as "go eat shit fuckers" and "Bert's a fucking queer and you know it!!"
"We hope this new show can meet the needs of modern society unlike our previously outdated piece-of-shit show" said Henson.
New Movie Coming Out[edit]
Not only has Sesame Street been giving a rating not suitable for kids, but it has a new movie coming out called "Sesame Street: The Movie" that also has stuff not suitable for kids under 13, like blood, hate, farts and burps, homosexuality and sex. It is unknown when this will be released.
Sources[edit]
- Virginia Heffernan "Sweeping the Clouds Away". The New York Times, November 18, 2007