UnNews:Murdoch: Obama not really "black"

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search

A newsstand that's brimming with issues UnNews Thursday, April 18, 2024, 17:05:59 (UTC)

Murdoch: Obama not really "black" UnNews Logo Potato.png

8 October 2015

All one has to do is to take one look at him and the facts become clear.

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Media mogul Rupert Murdoch has declared that U.S. President Barack Obama is not really black.

Murdoch tweeted on Wednesday, “Ben and Candy Carson terrific. What about a real black President who can properly address the racial divide?” The implication is clear (apart from the fact that the biggest name in mass media cannot write a complete sentence): Mr. Obama is something other than black.

The United States has endured years under a black Supreme Court Justice whose views have gotten him called not-really-black, a departing Speaker of the House who is not really orange and not really quitting, a Republican Senate majority that is not really Republican, and Congressman Hank Johnson (D-GA) who, while certifiably black, except for the hair, is not able to see that military exercises on Guam will not make the Pacific island tip over. President Bill Clinton was often claimed to be a black President, but only on the basis of getting his seff in trouble.

Rep. Johnson, for comparison.

Mr. Murdoch did not specify what, if not black, Mr. Obama is: Pan-Arab mongrel, spray-painted faculty-lounge mascot, or a racial Manchurian Candidate; only that Republican candidate Ben Carson is much, much blacker. Mr. Carson, who Donald Trump says is not much of a surgeon, has suggested that the fate of the black community lies in its own hands, rather than with the Department of Health and Human Services, and is now embroiled in media controversy that several journalists had to temporarily stop fomenting in order to finish this piece.

Mr. Murdoch's tweet also suggests that Mr. Obama has failed to address the racial divide, which this trusted news source gives three Pinocchio noses. Two straight Attorneys General have focused their efforts on the sudden wave of racism by white policemen, which is unrelated to the wave of black suspects resisting arrest and grabbing for service weapons. Obama-care directs resources to "historically underserved communities," and the nation's schools have been tasked to match disciplinary actions against black pupils to their proportion in the population, rather than arbitrary factors like the proportion of misbehavior. It is not clear what else Mr. Murdoch could ask for.

Mr. Obama has had no comment on Mr. Murdoch's tweet, but a press conference is imminent and the tweet is likely to be the focus, as there is nothing else to discuss than Vladimir Putin's invasion of Syria and surprising bombing runs against the rebels the U.S. had promised to support.

Sources[edit]