From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search
Whoops! Maybe you were looking for this article to PICK?
A common nose.

“AAAAH!!! MY NOSE!! MY NOSE!! Where did it GO?? Oh. There it is!”

~ Oscar Wilde on Nose

“Everybody has one, but they always tend to be overlooked...”

~ Anonymous

“Oh noes!”

~ 12 year old

A nose (plural neese) is an appendage on the end of your elbow, or very rarely, your hip. Nose is sometimes called a nose because nose is thought to stand for Not anOther Sticky Elbow (appendage). However, this was made up by George W. Bush. Nose is really a shortened form of the word noselectionitionialistly. No one knows what this word means except Chuck Norris but he ain't telling and we have no way of making him talk. Awww...


Noses have several uses. These include

  • Wearhouse of green bugger for a varity of uses[see sniping with your nose]
  • Nobody Nose.....
  • Nose picking
  • Nose picking (literally!)
  • Nose pickiling
  • Finding the feet/socks/sneakers/armpits of male family members.
  • Baffling people with the word noselectionitionialistly.
  • Growing into another arm
  • They may one day become a mind control device utilized by Jesus Washington George Washington Christ Mary Jesus Washington.
  • Nasal Sex
  • Um...
  • Noses are often the site of Buried treasure, which requires digging to remove. Treasure is ussually rolled into balls for packing. Tables are ussually decorated with buried treasure. The difference with plates, however, are that they are hidden under the table.
  • Sniping your nearby friends with it by putting your right hand finger or left if your left handed[considering 7% of the population is left handed so i wont continue the sentence cause i dont give a fuck]in a 43.5 angle and blow your nose with sudden air to launch a green ball like bullet.
  • Deep frying. It is often though that the nose is useless, as we can see from the above 'uses', however, we forget that the nose makes an excellent deepfryer. As we all know kids like deep fried foods, so why else would they excavate a nostril, other than to get at the deep fryed goodness inside???

Ok, they are totally useless. That is besides the point, however. To find the point, click on this link.

People with no noses[edit]

In this day and age of experimental drugs and incest rates at 50 year highs, more and more people are born without noses. This has made the nose a top selling organ on the international black market, with some noses going for over $70,000 (or about 50 goats in rural countries). "Nose-harvesting" as its called in Uzbekistan is on the rise. In the USA, about 400 noses are harvested each year. Naturally, this has caused some concern among certain celebrities, Gonzo chief among them. Incidentally, Michael Jackson has recently laid off his own bodyguards.

See also[edit]