UnNews:Mexican president lays out agenda for US

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24 May 2010

Behind the President of Mexico sit the next two jokers in line for the presidency, God help us.

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Mexican President Felipe Calderón, in remarks before the U.S. Congress, laid out a detailed agenda for changes to U.S. law.

Mr. Calderón made the proposals following his more widely reported criticism of U.S. gun laws and the new state law in Arizona that lets police demand identification from suspected illegals.

Mr. Calderón asserted that--

  • Laws in certain states requiring identification at the polls were making it too difficult for Mexican border-jumpers to vote.
  • Unemployment compensation should be further extended, as 99 weeks is "too short a time" to expect any Mexican to find work.
  • Mexican restaurants should be exempt from the part of the new health care law that forces restaurants to give diners nutritional information. "No one wants to know he is about to scarf down a load of lard, Jalapeños, and dog meat," said the president. The mention of eating meat elicited a scowl from Speaker Nancy Pelosi, who has taken Mexican food entirely off the menu at the House cafeteria except for bean-sprout burritos.
  • Congress should be reapportioned to give more seats to states on the southern tier. Mr. Calderón suggested that North Dakota and Vermont could be given fewer seats to compensate, apparently unaware that they have only one apiece.

U.S. President Barack Obama held a press conference with Mr. Calderón after his remarks to Congress. "I've always said that Mexicans can be very useful," said Mr. Obama. "I wish I had this little guy here during the health-care debate."

Mr. Obama was surprised when a reporter mentioned that Mr. Calderón was elected by Mexico's pro-business party. "We have one of those here," said Mr. Obama. "Don't we?"