Talk:Jew

If you have come here to complain about Uncyclopedia taking the piss out of your religion, go and read Atheism (religion).

We are proud of the fact that we insult everyone equally...

This is the talk page for discussing improvements to the Jew article. This is not a forum for general discussion about what you did last night. We have the Village Dump for things like that. For a listing of unused images related to this topic, please see the image subpage.
Please sign and date your posts by typing four tildes (~~~~). Put new text under old text. Click here to start a new topic. New to Uncyclopedia? Welcome! Ask questions, get answers.	Be Civil Assume Bad Faith Don't Be A Dick No Cyberbullying	Article policies How To Be Funny And Not Just Stupid Satirical point of view Verifiability vs. Complete Bollocks

Complaint Archive

Jews

• This article is not funny —The preceding unsigned comment was added by 99.234.221.236 (talk • contribs)
• They go to buy groceries at Ralph's, where it's all kosher but trendy as well.
• They get their clothes at Stein mart, where it's all cheap but pricey as hell.
• And are managers of Wal-mart, since they always will do business with the people of visible skin color and alot of Americans with Spanish speaking skills. OY VEY swell.+ PotatoSmut 02:38, December 3, 2009 (UTC)

Basically Jews are really fat and stingy. They will do anything for a penny. They're also tough as fuck and wouldn't fucking die off in the holocost goddamn them. We need more gas. —The preceding unsigned comment was added by 74.109.113.18 (talk • contribs)

A Sneaking Suspicion

Is it just me, or do the pages associated with Jewish peoples and Israel on Uncyclopedia seem to be particularly lenient? Has someone been so vain and far right of the spectrum that they could not tolerate satire, especially satire that may or may not have pinched a nerve for this person/these people in particular? The featured article on Palestinian Stone Throwing smacks of propaganda and unobjective satirising. Do not turn Uncyclopedia into a political battle field - satire the stereotype and the vile equally.

• You're right. It's not funny. It used to be funnier before a bunch of whiny schmendricks decided that the whole shmear was so e-geshmak that they mamesh went ahead and changed it to "less funny". Most Jews I know found it hilarious when it was offensive and meh now. —The preceding unsigned comment was added by 128.244.9.9 (talk • contribs)

I completely agree with the comment above and think he or she should re-right the article because honestly your hilarious

Something aint Kosher here.

Far right? Most American Jews nowadays vote for the GOP and are neo-Conservatives, therefore you're way off by 40 years. The Jews are always two-faced when it comes to politics, as long any goyim defends the state of Israel from those Islamofascist terrorist Arab scum. LULZ. + PotatoSmut 02:40, December 3, 2009 (UTC)

while little jewish boys are online worrying about their depiction in a humor wiki their mothers and daughters are out satisfying their animal desire with BIG BLACK COCKS like this nice jewish girl brianna zuckerberg. why dont we include that in the encyclopedia because we like to treat everyone equally?

It Isn't Just You

No, it isn't just you. Look how they slam Christians. But that's OK. Christians are the new Jews. Being anti-Semitic is unthinkable, but being anti-Christian is kewl. Nowadays, some forms of bigotry are acceptable. I understand why you have to stop Neo-Nazis idiots from editing the entry on Judaism, but how about cutting Christians some slack? There's a fine line between funny and hate. OK, it's not that fine. —The preceding unsigned comment was added by 96.13.31.44 (talk • contribs)

what the hell

- Man this is BS. All the edits done thus far by so many people is simply deleted and replaced with this junk... This is called censorship, how can you delete stuff people put on here which involves hundreds of hours of accumulated work, in a blink of an eye??? Quit deleting and censoring what people write assholes!!!—The preceding unsigned comment was added by SmokeyMacBongwater (talk • contribs)

-Some dude just got rid of everything that had been written down on this which was AWSOME. this douchbag put REAL FACTS. THIS IS FUNNY STUFF!!!!!!! ENcyclopedia is for FACTS. UNcyclopedia is for FUNNY SHIT. —The preceding unsigned comment was added by Spike5513 (talk • contribs)

Please see the template at the top of the page. Perhaps that could clue you in. —Sir SysRq (talk) 02:24, 5 March 2009 (UTC)

The Brits are coming! The Brits are coming! And I've jumped on their bandwagon to help colonize this article. -- Simsilikesims(♀GUN) Talk here. 03:35, 9 March 2009 (UTC)

Hello Shityy Aceholes Who Actually Thinkl That uncyclopedia is funny, there is nothing funny about racism toward the jews or any other race. although I must admit that you guys are a lot better than

those shit eating, child molesting fags at encyclopedia dramatica, you are still a bunch of immature obnouxius drug sniffing aceholes. And you guys and those as sniffing, child molesting, shit eating, aceholes at encyclopedia dramatica think That having aspergers syndrome or any other form of autism is a big joke? I have Aspergers syndrome you stupid ugly little drug addicted, child molesting child raping, ace suckinbg, jewish hating little "all american" Pricks! Anyone likes to make fun of people lioke me who has Aspergers syndrome is an insecure self loathing little pussy who to put down someone else to feel better about their friendless, drug addicted, anerexic, their own parents are fucking dissap-ointed in them, need to just jump off a bridge and diue, selves. Their jealous because people, like me, who have aspergers syndrome are more rational, more intelligent, more sensitive, and all around just more likeable than those insecure, friendless, druyg addicted, anerexic or obese, bullieish, hateful, racist, their own parents can't stand the dissapointment that they are, selves. And you can't justm keep sayingI did it for the lulz. That is absolute bullshit! That mis just the excuse of an obnoxius hateful cowardly little bully who wants to offend decent people and spread hatred all around to peo0ple of different sexes, races, countries, ect. —The preceding unsigned comment was added by 71.17.78.167 (talk • contribs)

-Hey retard, I don't see your Jew ass being upset when people are racist on all other racist pages on uncyclopedia. why dont you go change the page on ARABS and make that also full of facts??? Why dont you go and have those pages censored too moron? It's called freedom of speech if yoiu dont like it go back to under the same rock you came from.—The preceding unsigned comment was added by SmokeyMacBongwater (talk • contribs)

Jew is not a race. It's a religion. This website is a "parody site". This article is taken as a joke by the many, many Jews who edit here, and have edited this page in the past. MrN  Fork you! 02:46, Mar 9

Actually, Jews are a race unlike other religions, or at least share a similar genetic background. You can find physical similarities with Jews all over the world. Also, pardon me while I go and ban that IP maniac. ~ 16:09, 9 March 2009 (UTC)

You are talking about the Hebrew people right? I can become a Jew if I want to can I not? MrN  Fork you! 16:35, Mar 9

Essentially the same. You don't see a lot of conversions, and unlike the other monotheistic religions, it's quite difficult to convert to Judaism. ~ 20:04, 9 March 2009 (UTC)

Much as how many people find compromise calling Buddhism more of a philosophy than a religion, I'd say it'd be fair to call Judaism more of a culture than a race. -- T​K​F​​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​CK 20:34, 9 March 2009 (UTC)

What about Walter from the Big Lewbowski? He converted. And he had buddies who died face down in the muck in 'Nam. Or so I'm told. - T.L.B. WotM, UotM, FPrize, AotM, ANotM, PLS, UN:HS, GUN 20:32, Mar 9

Those of us involved with Colonization are trying to clean up this article so it can be enjoyed by both Jews and non-Jews alike. Hopefully we can poke fun at some stereotypes to make people think twice about them. -- Simsilikesims(♀GUN) Talk here. 03:00, 9 March 2009 (UTC)

Look, I'm sorry some know-it-all psychiatrist diagnosed you with Asperger's and you are thus forced to believe that your brain works completely different from a 'neurotypical' one (like a psychiatrist knows anything about brains anyway, HA!), but that doesn't mean you have to blame Uncyclopedia for people who make fun of your problem (even if they miserably fail at that). -Sockpuppet of an unregistered user 15:32, 9 March 2009 (UTC)

Besides, we're all Aspies. Get with it, shawty. —Sir SysRq (talk) 16:56, 9 March 2009 (UTC)

I have aspergers, and you know what? I LAUGH at the articles that make fun of my disorder. If, aspergers, downs syndrome, and 9/11 are not spared, why should Jews be? Learn to laugh at yourself, IP.Saberwolf116 21:00, 10 March 2009 (UTC)

I'm hearing impaired, I haven't even seen the article on deaf people yet. ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 23:21, 10 March 2009 (UTC)

Are you really? Like, all jokes aside? —Sir SysRq (talk) 01:39, 11 March 2009 (UTC)

I'll avoid saying "yeah really!" or "Yeah, no jokes at all" or something, but yes I am hearing impaired. Has it's pros and cons. ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 17:08, 11 March 2009 (UTC)

How do you edit Uncyc then? How can you tell what we're saying? Do you just read lips or something? Because this thing isn't written in sign language, buddy. Perhaps we should make Uncyc more accessable to the deaf, like rewrite it in sign language or something. —Sir SysRq (talk) 17:52, 11 March 2009 (UTC)

Oh cripes, I've been discovered! Uh... I having hearing aids that allow me to hear what you're saying on the monitor! Yes, that's it! Hearing aids is how I roll for realz. ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 22:30, 11 March 2009 (UTC)

I see...you roll with AIDS. —Sir SysRq (talk) 22:47, 11 March 2009 (UTC)

I was just lamenting the lack of an article on Hearing AIDS. • Spang • ☃ • talk • 22:54, 11 Mar 2009

What's that I hear? Am I hearing syphilis? gonorrhea? genital warts? No, I'm hearing AIDS. —Sir SysRq (talk) 23:11, 11 March 2009 (UTC)

Bono is funding the latest cure for Africa - a machine that can hear out the areas where AIDS has taken it's toll. ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 23:46, 11 March 2009 (UTC)

Jews, blacks, gays, women, autistics, Muslims, Mexicans, Asians, whoever is considered a minority group, they will be a target of insults, hatred, fear and suspicion by the majority group. Jews on the other hand aren't complaining, nor ask for sympathy for being Jewish at the first place. I believe those red indigenous folk can learn alot from the people you know and the people you trust when it comes to civil rights causes. + PotatoSmut 02:43, December 3, 2009 (UTC)

Aw, hate edits.

How sweet. I've never had one on an article I was involved with before. Can I adopt the little IP? -OptyC Sucks! CUN 14:32, 10 Mar

I'd just like to say you fine gentlemen are doing a swell job on the article, I tip my tri-cornered hat in your general direction. --CrabPope 22:57, 15 March 2009 (UTC)

Same. This is infinitely better than the old version. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 18:02, 20 March 2009 (UTC)

Link

The page is locked, but I think you should add this languages as linked [[it:Ebreo]] [[fi:Juutalaiset]] [[fr:Juifs]] [[ja:ユダヤ人]] [[ko:유대인]]

Locked? are you kidding me?

ARE YOU SERIOUS?? locked?!?!?! what happened to protecting everyone equally!!!!!???? hey i'm jewish and i was going to add a section on bagels. seriously it's critical that people understand how important bagels are to jews. bagels are the staple food of us jews. the way us jews eat bagels denotes our class. and if jews don't have at least 1.18 (18 ha get it? chai?) bagels a day we asplode. no joke. actually i'm eating a bagel right now. i actually asploded a few minutes ago because i was in canada without bagels for too long. and i'm writing this complaint so other jews don't asplode like me. bagels are so important to jews that they even should have an entire section devoted to them on uncyclopedia's jew article.

Cowguru2000 01:11, 29 March 2009 (UTC)

Locked? You sir are imagining things. MrN  Fork you! 01:13, Mar 29

Yeah, this page isn't locked my friend. —Sir SysRq (talk) 01:16, 29 March 2009 (UTC)

oops sorry guys, weird... well after all i was asploded at the time i attempted to edit the page... actually im still asploded but at least i ates my bagel —The preceding unsigned comment was added by Cowguru2000 (talk • contribs)

I was pulling ur plonker. ;) Sorry about that. It was locked because it was being rewritten under Uncyclopedia:Imperial Colonization and someone forgot to remove the protection. I unlocked if for ya. Enjoy editing. MrN  Fork you! 01:54, Mar 30

Ooo I'm an agnostic so I might be offended simply because there isn't enough evidence to be sure I'm not offended. --Nikau 15:24, 29 March 2009 (UTC)

Cute. —Sir SysRq (talk) 16:08, 29 March 2009 (UTC)

Bagels

I'm going to move the whole bagel section to a new article, as it doesn't fit in this concept. Also, Sys, I have to say I'm a bit disappointed with the whole way the Colonization went with this one. It was left in a sort of an half baked article without actually covering a lot of issues that could have been covered. ~ 07:51, 30 March 2009 (UTC)

I think the whole UnScript sections should be moved to another article myself... Having it in this format of part UnScript, part encyclopaedic style is going to make this article very difficult to maintain in the long run. People are going to want to add to it, and as it is it's very difficult to do that without messing a mess of the whole thing. A great rewrite was done here, but personally I just don't think it really worked. Sorry guys, I think this baby needs a looking at... MrN  Fork you! 13:58, Mar 30

I deleted it. Revert it if you want, I just don't want this article to become the random bullshit that it was before it got fixed up.Saberwolf116 17:54, 30 March 2009 (UTC)

That's kinda my point. The Uncyclopedia article on Jews probably should have a section on Bagles in it. The trouble is that how this is written now that's not really possible. This kinda thing is going to keep happening. A good edit, which should be included, but can't be. That's probably not right... MrN  Fork you! 18:09, Mar 30

Yeah, the Colonization sucked for Jew. I'm not sure if it was related to my absence. I believe that may have had something to do with it, and so I apologize. However, as to what course of action to take, I'm not really 100% on that either. Perhaps we will colonize this again someday, with a unified concept. But this is still just such a huge project that I don't think IC is ready for this yet. It's quite the painful chapter in our past. =/ —Sir SysRq (talk) 18:37, 30 March 2009 (UTC)

I suggest a new article on either "Jewish Cuisine" or "Bagels". I admit the i wrote the bagelsl section kind of poorly but the ideas are definitely there. Cowguru2000 22:09, 30 March 2009 (UTC)

That's so insensitive, you made fun of what Jews eat! Bagels, Lox, Gefiltefish, Matzo, Blintzes or Hebrew National hot dogs. The Jews are thought to be pork-intolerant and have a psychospiritual allergy to shellfish, now that's funny. However, Jews don't get on the defense about stereotypes of diet, race and religion. Anyone who's black knows the feeling of being caught with fried chicken. + PotatoSmut 02:47, December 3, 2009 (UTC)

UNcyclopedia No better than Encycloipedia Dramatica

Hello people. i;d just like to point out that Jewish is a religion not a race. Now get that through your fucking nazi head or jump off a bridge and die. And I do care about other racist articles too. And as for me being autistic, i don't want to leartn how to laugh at myself, I want you immature little shit eating pricks to piss of and stop making fun of it. i don't care if some people laugh at themselves. I'm a descent sensitive person and i am not puting up with that crap. And i am not jewish dumbass, I'm just not an immature little racist nerd like you are. You guys are piece3s of shit! your almost as bad as Encycloipedia Dramatica, so stop critisising them for being creeps. its like the pot calling the kettle black. Of course Encyclopedia Dramatica is still worse. but that dosen't give you guys right to act all self righchess abot your articles. why don't you guys here at Uncyclopedia, and the people at Encyclopedia Dramatica, both do us all a favor and get the hell of the Internet. —The preceding unsigned comment was added by 71.17.78.167 (talk • contribs)

Please scroll up a little bit... no, farther... yes that big red block. Now read it. Thanks. By the way, I am Jewish myself and I even am about to have matzo for breakfast, not cereal, and I edit Uncyclopedia and don't bitch about the Jew page. And Judaism technically is a race; we're Semites. So please save your article-bitching for Wikipedia. Cowguru2000 14:41, 10 April 2009 (UTC)

Or, if you have such a problem with us, why don't you get the hell off the internet? —Sir SysRq (talk) 01:44, 8 April 2009 (UTC)

I think I understand what he's trying to say. --Pleb SYNDROME _{CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!)} 01:48, 8 April 2009 (UTC)

What a drama queen. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 01:59, 8 April 2009 (UTC)

I'm sorry, I don't know where the hell of the internet is; otherwise I'd gladly get it for you. - T.L.B. WotM, UotM, FPrize, AotM, ANotM, PLS, UN:HS, GUN 18:49, Apr 8

That was righchess.--    18:55, 8 April 2009 (UTC)

I'd just like to point out Jerwish is not a religion or a race. It's not even a real word. Retard. If you're indeed refering to Jews, you're still an idiot as Jews are unique in that they're a religion as well as a race. As to the rest of your nonsense post, I'd like to refer you to this. Thank you. -OptyC Sucks! CUN19:13, 8 Apr

I know, what a cry baby. YOU, drama queen, madam, are the REASON why there is so much stereotype against jews... you dont see anyone else bitching and complaining when they make fun of their countries or nationality or race on here. BUT anyone dare say anything about a JEW!?! NOOOOO...why? cuz you think you are better than everyone else. It is EXACTLY that arrogance that you exhibit here, the reason why there is all those stereotypes against Jews out there and trying to change and censor things on here will ONLY make the voices of those who really don't like Jews even louder... But you, an imbecile, of course are too dumb to realize that. Now get your head out of your ass and quit being such a cheap, crying, OH-WHY-DOES-THIS-ALWAYS-HAPPEN to me, Jew. Because your actions are infact the answer to your own question! —The preceding unsigned comment was added by Typhoon761 (talk • contribs)

The protocols of Codeine's Mum?--    23:42, 8 April 2009 (UTC)

Who the hell are you? —Sir SysRq (talk) 16:01, 9 April 2009 (UTC)

He's an asshole. That IP is an asshole! Oh the stupidest IP in the land! --MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 16:04, 9 April 2009 (UTC)

What just happened?

Guys take a look... I think someone just single-handedly rewrote the entire Jew article. It's inceredibly long so I haven't looked too closely, but this article version looks much more accomodating of a bagels section.

Anyways, what's the general opinion on this one? —The preceding unsigned comment was added by Cowguru2000 (talk • contribs)

It's FUNNY but in the Jewish humor tradition way. The last article was bordering on the "racist, unfunny" and "anti-semitic" pattern. Any entry in the article should be poking fun, not stirring dislike of Jewish people, religion, culture and identity to meet the rabbi's approval :-D The Jewish people are known for possessing a comical quality on dealing with tough situations known as tahm, on how "perfect" people are not perfect like they seem, and human nature in villains from the Egyptians to Romans to Nazis, and how the Jewish antihero(ine) always finds his/her way out is a common theme in jokes on persecution, assimilation and triumphs through their faith.

Not only the Jewish article was vigorously cleaned up or reedited in such large parts of the page. Other articles about Gays and Black people are often locked from anon IPs, reedited to reduce the racially biased tone, and admin. warnings were put in place. I recall a good but removed (it may been inflammatory) article on Mexicans (the one had a photo of a Mexican family sat out in lawn chairs) replaced by a newer one on Dirty Sanchez and redirected to the Mexico article. The edits are based on popular racial myths or stereotypes about groups of people, but let's keep it nice and clean, or have the rabbi's approval (has the Kosher=Tahm seal). + 71.102.2.206 19:28, 14 April 2009 (UTC)

How is this even funny?

I actually just created an account to say just how unfunny this article is. Seriously, someone rewrite it? No one wants to read 5000 words written by religious Jews talking about how awesome their history is. If this was an attempt to counter anti-semitism, then FAIL. I myself am Jewish and I enjoy joking about Jewish stereotypes like 'Jew gold' because if I wanted to take myself seriously, I would be going to Wikipedia instead. This article CAN poke fun at Jews with amusing stereotypes WITHOUT being taken overboard and being anti-semitic. I'm too lazy to do it. Someone who appreciates good humour please rewrite this article entirely, with sections on Bagels, Jew Gold and the World Domination. If not, then at least remove this page from 'fundamental stereotypes'. This is nothing more than ego-stroking and no one cares about that.EsKess 19:24, 3 June 2009 (UTC)EsKess

Thank you for your suggestion! When you feel an article needs fixin', please feel obligated to make whatever changes you feel are needed, (even though they'll probably be reverted 5 seconds later). Uncyclopedia is a wiki, so almost anyone can edit almost any article by almost simply following the edit link almost at the top. You don't even need to log in in most cases! (Although there are some reasons why you might like to...) The Uncyclopedia Cabal encourages you to be italic. Don't worry too much about making honest mistakes—they're likely to be found and corrected quickly, and your 6 month ban will fly by faster than you think. If you're not sure how editing works, check out proper wiki formatting, or use the sandbox to try out your vandalizing skills. - T.L.B. WotM, UotM, FPrize, AotM, ANotM, PLS, UN:HS, GUN 19:24, Jun 3

You registered an account just to complain about an article you clearly don't understand with no intention of ever doing anything about it? NOBODY GIVES A FUCK ABOUT BAGELS AND JEW GOLD. Try 4chan. -OptyC Sucks! CUN19:40, 3 Jun

BUT, he did make it so Led could use my favorite template on the site. Well, that and {{Oh Dear}} are in a tie. I always so enjoy seeing {{sofixit}}.

How about this one?:

P -OptyC Sucks! CUN19:52, 3 Jun

Whelp... I'm gunna go kill myself now. Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 19:53, 3 June 2009 (UTC)

Can I have your porn? -OptyC Sucks! CUN19:56, 3 Jun

Orian's borrowing it right now. I guess I can get it from him if you really want it. Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 19:58, 3 June 2009 (UTC)

I understand the article perfectly, and as such I understand that this is the kind of stuff that is only ever funny to Frum Jews at Kiddush or in Shul. It just doesn't amuse me in any way. Read the articles on Christians, Arabs, Blacks, White People, and heck, even Londoners in the London article. It's offensive humour that isn't overdone and it's funny with the perfect balance of in-jokes and jokes that others will also be able to understand.EsKess 20:00, 3 June 2009 (UTC)EsKEss

{{sofixit}} or STFU. -OptyC Sucks! CUN20:03, 3 Jun

So, anyone who is not language-impaired, does not have an overdose of testosterone, and is not otherwise angry at the world in general: further opinions, please?EsKess 20:19, 3 June 2009 (UTC)EsKess

/facepalm.

Thank you for your suggestion! When you feel an article needs fixin', please feel obligated to make whatever changes you feel are needed, (even though they'll probably be reverted 5 seconds later). Uncyclopedia is a wiki, so almost anyone can edit almost any article by almost simply following the edit link almost at the top. You don't even need to log in in most cases! (Although there are some reasons why you might like to...) The Uncyclopedia Cabal encourages you to be italic. Don't worry too much about making honest mistakes—they're likely to be found and corrected quickly, and your 6 month ban will fly by faster than you think. If you're not sure how editing works, check out proper wiki formatting, or use the sandbox to try out your vandalizing skills.

Capiche? Until you can show some evidence that your reading comprehension is a little better than a 6 year old with Downs Syndrome and English as a second language, please refrain from flaming people who actually know what they're talking about. -OptyC Sucks! CUN20:25, 3 Jun

EsKess. At Uncyclopedia, we strive for 'quality humour'. A bit of random humor isn't bad, but these articles you refer to are generally considered "bad" by most Uncyclopedia standards. Of course, most articles you find here are not written by the Uncyclopedians that have made all these guides, rules and policies. The "Jew" article that's here now. Yes, we know it's kind of misplaced. Even if we'd be aiming for an intellectual article about Jews, this one would still rather fit at "Jewish History". The problem, for as much as it is a problem, though it probably is a problem to you, is that most of the users that have anything to say around here agree that the previous version of this article was - not to put too fine a point on it - crap. If you can write a version that would please all of us, something witty, satirical with some regular funny jokes, please do! You can write it in your userspace and then the admins can decide whether they like it enough to replace this article with your version. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 20:27, 3 June 2009 (UTC)

Hooray, a pointless flamewar! EsKess: I was (at least partially) serious when I used {{sofixit}}: make a userspace subpage, rewrite the article and if it's good I will put it on this page myself if you want me to. Dunno if I agree with you about some other pages; I took a skim through Christianity and it looked pretty much like a troll thread on 4chan and several lists. But, hey, I'm not here to review that page, so whatevs. Opty: Don't get sucked into the bullshittery man, please. If you get into it with a troll, the troll wins, ya know? And socky: I'm not 100% sure what you mean by quality humor or uncyclopedia standards. Be careful what you wish for; a wiki full of homogeneous, high-brow satires would get old pretty fast. Variety is the spice of life, and, as we all should know, he who controls the spice controls the universe. Is there a point to all this? Yes, it is this: Never trust the Harkonnens to just let a gold mine like Arrakis go. It just doesn't happen. What were we talking about again? - T.L.B. WotM, UotM, FPrize, AotM, ANotM, PLS, UN:HS, GUN 02:43, Jun 4

Bagels? -OptyC Sucks! CUN15:49, 4 Jun

danm th33s c0llabs, 0r what3v3r th3r calld

Aww... I was going to make an awesome article here about Nazi Jewish stereotypes... but this is too good to mow over. *cries* --I like pie... I just happen to... really!/Spam me/Spam doesn't taste as good as pie 03:46, 6 June 2009 (UTC)

1.I think I'll start banning anyone who's talking in 1337. 2.Fix your sig. 3. Mommy? Is that you? ~ 11:17, 6 June 2009 (UTC)

damn straight.. Remember that REEFER guy? Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 11:33 June 6 '09

This article had almost written by the jews

info 100%

so what?... Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 14:18 August 5 '09

You may be looking for Jew/Classic‎. Which was not. Yep, I fished it out of the page history and lined from Jew. This was agreed in the Village Dumb a while back, but I forgot to do it until now. MrN  Fork you! 15:48, Aug 5

Speaking Words of Wisdom

raptor jesus will destroy every one with his giant penis and outer worldly instinct like old people raping and chillie cheese eyes lololollololololololololol jaime king is my father. —The preceding unsigned comment was added by 153.107.33.151 (talk • contribs)

Dinosaurs didn't have penises, n00b. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 00:55, 3 August 2010

---

who the fuck cares about their history i came here to laugh

Article sucks.

This is not even funny... Anti semmetism is bad yes, but this is uncyvlopedia goddamnit!

Can anyone add this?

Jews have been recognized as God's chosen people/the master race, and their right for more of their rightfully rightful land given to them by God/acquire more lebensraum, while kicking the gentiles/untermenschen off their lands, has also been recognized. Hard-working Zionists/nazis have kicked out the inefficient dirty arabs/subhuman slavs, populated the land fruitfully/bred like rabbits, and planted trees everywhere whereas the arabs did nothing/put the land and resources of eastern Europe to efficient use which the slavs could never do. It has also been universally agreed upon that anyone who doesn't like the zionists is a nazi. Some of the most prominent of these nazis include Mahatma Gandhi and Nelson Mandela. And it has also been agreed upon that any Jew who isn't a zionist is a self-hating Jew/any German who isn't a nazi is a self-hating German. However, not all Jews are zionists!(only 99% of them)/not all Germans are nazis!(only...hey wait a second!) —The preceding unsigned comment was added by 159.81.72.11 (talk • contribs)

No, it doesn't fit within the framework of the larger article. Also, it seems to make little or no sense. Calling people nazis and zionists at the same time and then saying that anyone who doesn't like the zionists is a nazi, just isn't logically consistent. The slashes obscure the point of the paragraph, and mess up the grammar at the same time. -- Simsilikesims(♀GUN) Talk here. 07:35, November 16, 2011 (UTC)

Are you kidding me Simsilikesims? The article is nothing but junk. It should be rewritten completly. I am gonna put this when I am back from work. 10x funnier then the whole article combined. —The preceding unsigned comment was added by 159.81.72.11 (talk • contribs)

Just don't. When discussing warring peoples, competing religions, or political parties or ideologies, which often contain caricatures and which criticize their adversaries with caricatures: Making sport of them through caricature (even ironic caricature) is either ambiguous or just unfunny. Spıke Ѧ 12:05 6-Mar-12

Go and learn a bit more about the world/history before you edit here please. Racism and prejudice can be VERY funny, but not when the author knows as little about reality as you. You might get on better editing Jew/Classic which is more suited for those (like you) who are unable to tell the difference between a religion a race and Zionism. MrN  Fork you! 13:28, Mar 6

Which is to say that the article has been "rewritten completely." On the other hand, an Anon who can't sign his posts but knows that he can be 10x funnier than the stuff already written has a bright future here. Spıke Ѧ 00:23 7-Mar-12

You're all really just pathetic. Even on this humor site you just want to churn out pro-israeli propaganda. You just won't give it a rest. Even a small funny criticism of the holy saintly Zionists can get someone banned, but regular flat-out insults on pages concerning arab countries is perfect uncyclopedia stuff... And they say Jews and their sympathizers don't control the media... I bet every single admin here is pro-Israeli.--77.42.188.61 17:21, July 14, 2012 (UTC)

What's an Israeli, and how do I become one professionally? On the other hand, don't confuse coherent comedic writing with a political viewpoint. You are welcome to create an article from a satirical perspective that supports your political standpoint, but remember that being funny is more important than being political. This article, as it stands, works. Any changes made would need to accentuate or improve, whereas what you are suggesting would detract. And don't take this or the above personally. We want you to contribute, and we don't care enough to dislike you.                                • Puppy's talk page • 03:51 15 Jul

Well it seems your colleagues do care enough to dislike me, because they already banned my account on basis of being "anti-semitic".--94.187.118.94 09:37, July 15, 2012 (UTC)

Really? Can you show me the details of the ban?                                • Puppy's talk page • 10:16 15 Jul

Liar. Cat the Colourful (Feed me!) Zzz 10:22, 15 July, 2012 (UTC)

Oh sorry your account. What's your account? Cat the Colourful (Feed me!) Zzz 10:25, 15 July, 2012 (UTC)

• 03:01, December 15, 2011 Zombiebaron (talk | contribs) blocked User:I HATE HAET HAT JEW (talk | contribs) with an expiry time of an oven (Anti-semitic)

 ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Sun, Jul 15 '12 10:29 (UTC)

(Deindent) Nevermind. I have gone back through the last year or so of blocks, and found one block that relates to being "anti-semitic". That was an IP that decided to take out his Oedipal complex on a page relating to Judaism. Ignoring the spamming of external links (a ban-worthy offence) and vandalism (a ban worthy offence) and cyberbullying (a ban worthy offence), he didn't add anything in the slightest bit funny to the site. I did laugh at him, but not with him. It also suggests to me that if you are the same person (which you claim to be) you were banned for just being a bastard to one of the regular contributors here (cyberbullying, again) after your initial ban expired. Your entire stance here has been to be argumentative rather than discuss what you want. But the worst part - you switch IPs around on a regular basis in order to get access to a parody wiki because you think this is the best way to get your pseudo-political statements made online. Only a complete and utter wanker would do that. My suggestion to you - go to Facebook, twitter, Wordpress, blogger, MySpace, tumblr, or any one of hundreds of blog hosts, forums, or vanity spaces that exist. Preach to the world about the evils of the Jews from there. If you want to write funny satire, of course you are welcome here. If you want to be a dick, do it elsewhere.                                • Puppy's talk page • 11:20 15 Jul

Anti-Semitism

I think the problem is that antisemetism is much more of a reality, and if reads like it supports those views, then it becomes very not funny. There's plenty of space for making fun of jews, but everyone seems to be stuck on repeating the same antisemetic lines, even trying to make it non-offensive or only slightly offensive, it ends in fail. Maybe if someone was actually creative, and picked on them for different stuff this could be whole lot funnier. —The preceding unsigned comment was added by 76.169.137.143 (talk • contribs)

After you learn to sign your posts and to leave be a discussion from 2009 near the top of the page (as the article has been transformed several times since then), you would be free to hack away yourself. But note that the section you originally replied to contains an opinion from another Anon that the article had already been watered down out of deference to Jews so as to be unfunny.

Standard caricatures may offer the casual reader something to relate to (but see my comment to the previous Anon). I agree with you that more nuanced humor is better if you can pull it off; also that, when joking about politics or religion, extreme humor looks a lot like serious extremism. However, if you think "anti-Semitism is...a reality" here, you should peruse the articles on the other religions. It is not a reality but an interpretation of the combination of your attitudes and other people's attitudes--your attitude being to read comedy and worry about whose "views....it supports". At any rate, try your hand. Spıke Ѧ 12:00 3-May-12

So if we come up with new antisemitic lines it will be funny? Begege (talk) 10:00, November 11, 2014 (UTC)

No. --RomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 12:12, November 11, 2014 (UTC)

This entry is the death of Uncyclopedia. If people are not allowed to satyrize Jews and Judaism, then you're better off deleting the entry altogether, it's just shameful. Compare it to Islam's entry and see the difference. 46.7.168.236 02:02, February 12, 2016 (UTC)

Jew and Islam were written by different groups of people. Different articles in Uncyclopedia are not required to be factually consistent nor use the same comedy strategy. It is a good bet that the writers of Jew were Jews and I know that the writers of Islam were not Muslim. That does not reflect that Uncyclopedia is taking sides. Please get started writing funny stuff and stop demanding balance. Separately, if you again change an earlier post to reflect your two cents, you will not be able to write anything here. Spıke 🎙️02:34 12-Feb-16

Sorry, this is bullshit (I'm allowed to write bullshit on Uncyclopedia, am I not?). Jew was an entry in the normal Uncyclopedia style (no facts, just random shit) until 4 March 2009, when some users deleted and write-protected the whole entry at the shout of "let's colonize". From then on, you find a clique of users rewriting the whole page, with edit summaries like "make more historically accurate - Zedekiah was king of Judah during the Babylonian takeover per 2 Chronicles 36.and 2 Kings 24.". It's fine for me, I mean, who gives a shit? But please don't be a hypocrite, admit that this is the result of the colonization by people who don't like the type of humour of Uncyclopedia when applied to themselves. 46.7.168.236 10:27, February 12, 2016 (UTC)

There was no 'normal Uncyclopedia style' but the overall aim is to be funny. The writers from 2009 behind the original change have by and large disappeared. 'Random shit' is Randumbo. --RomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 11:16, February 12, 2016 (UTC)

Uncyclopedia is supposed to be "content-free". Most entries contain irreverent and humorously wrong information. This entry, as pointed out by many, is not irreverent in the least and as funny as a speech by Netanyahu. It's just pathetic. Ah, the original writers might have disappeared - I bet it had something to do with their content getting completely removed and the page write-protected. 46.7.168.236 12:16, February 12, 2016 (UTC)

The term "content-free" is a twist on Wikipedia but certainly not a cardinal rule for what comedy strategy one is to use. Whether "cliques," "hypocrisy," or the alleged asymmetry to Islam, Anon, it is again time to prove that you are here to contribute and not just to troll. Spıke 🎙️12:41 12-Feb-16

Troll? "Time to prove you're here to contribute"? Seriously? Where do you think you are, on Wikipedia? As for my opinion, the only thing to do with this disastrous entry is to blank it and start from there, waiting for people to fill in whatever they like to, provided that it is funny and irreverent enough (no, gratuitously offensive doesn't mean funny, btw). And the first who complains about anti-semitic slur has to be gassed and cremated. 46.7.168.236 13:30, February 12, 2016 (UTC)

This is a featured article. Even if you could blank it, doing so would earn you an automatic ban, as would blanking other pages on the wiki in mainspace. Blanking pages is discourteous to the original writers (I was one of the original IC team working on this article, by the way), and ignores the procedures in place we have to get rid of bad articles. If you see an article on Uncyclopedia that you think nobody will find funny that is not featured, nominate it on VFD. You must first register on the site to do so. Keep in mind that you have just seen replies from two admins, and now three, including myself. Right now, it looks like you are here to complain and cause trouble, not to improve the wiki. Keep that in mind when replying. As Spike said, time to prove you are not a troll. -- Simsilikesims(♀GUN) Talk here. 08:08, February 13, 2016 (UTC)

Of course, I wasn't talking of blanking the article myself. I'm sure there are appropriate procedures in place to do that. That's what happened in 2009 anyway, right? When you started the "Colonization" process to make the page more palatable to Jews, as you said yourself back then: "Those of us involved with Colonization are trying to clean up this article so it can be enjoyed by both Jews and non-Jews alike. Hopefully we can poke fun at some stereotypes to make people think twice about them. -- Simsilikesims(♀GUN) Talk here. 03:00, 9 March 2009 (UTC)". (You didn't find blanking the page "discourteous to the original writers", at the time). On this discussion page there's a lot of comments from people that don't find the result of the "colonization" funny or irreverent at all (despite what the template at the top claims) and well apart from Uncyclopedia standards, so maybe it's time for you to acknowledge it? Of course I'm here to complain. What I see here is a case of ownership of the page by some administrators, and this is definitely a problem by Wiki standards. My suggestion is that the current administrators of the page acknowledge the epic failure, get rid of the current boring lump of text (maybe reverting to the pre-2009 page) and let the entry evolve freely. Maybe then I'll be willing to contribute. 46.7.168.236 14:28, February 13, 2016 (UTC)

I have not read the article so my judgement on the content does not cloud my take on the conversation. Trying to "strike a deal" shows no intent to write comedy or improve anything here, meaning you are trolling. Why haven't you proposed an alternative text if it is so bad? Why haven't you got a username and contribute by your own free will and prove your point? This is a comedy wiki, and getting offended here is as stupid as sitting in a sauna and complaining it is hot. There are plenty of websites worthy of your energy, ones that are intent on harm. Uncyclopedia may have some controversial ideas and concepts, but that is the consequence of an open wiki. Creativity and humor is subjective. No one here intends harm, you are wasting your time, and ours.  EStop ⚓ 15:14, February 13, 2016 (UTC)