HowTo:Write an article for Encyclopedia Dramatica

HowTo
This article is part of Uncyclopedia's HowTo series.
See more HowTos

This article refers to writing articles for Encyclopedia Dramatica. For other uses, please see Encyclopedia Dramatica (disambiguation).

Encyclopedia Dramatica is one of the fastest growing internet encyclopedias that ~~fortunately~~ isn't hosted by wikia. Formed when a rogue band of wikipedians that left Wikipedia to stop being put down by the "man", who was violating their freedom of speech, ED has become ~~more~~ moar and moar popular (and infested with ugly, giant banner ads on every single page) than ~~ever~~ evar. With their new site, the freedom of speech was represented foremost by their pages which demonstrate free expression. Many of its articles are intricately and carefully written by intelligent folks with a good sense of humor. In this article, the proper general technique of writing your Encyclopedia Dramatica article will be explained.

Warning![edit]

Do NOT write, or even look at, ANY form of Encyclopedia Dramatica article if:

You want to have friends.

You have any sense of perspective.

You think that being linked to Goatse is gay and about as funny as a car crash.

You ever want to get laid.

Your computer doesn't have the latest anti-virus and spyware equipment.

You are a furry.

You have a life.

Themes and Topics[edit]

All good articles need a strong topic. In the world of Encyclopedia Dramatica, the articles that get the most "lulz" are the ones which include topics such as:

Stealing Articles and Images From Uncyclopedia[edit]

Teh ultimate lulz.

Why spend time coming up with your own content for such staple topics such as America, Conservatives and George W. Bush? Their door is always open to borrow new ideas. If you do it carefully people will think Uncyclopedia stole ideas from ED, bringing in ~~more~~ moar hits which means more and more views of their ads so they can get more and more cocaine. Here are some examples of articles which you should borrow:

Myspace: Perfect topic for a parody encyclopedia. Nobody knows that ED has a far superior article, with many more lulz than Uncyclopedia. Steal some of their pics and use their captions.

America: Everyone knows just how stupid, fat and lazy Americans are. Fortunately when it comes to making a parody on everyone's favorite world power, Encyclopedia Dramatica wins every time.

Uncyclopedia: Yup, that's right. And they said it couldn't be done. Yes, we succeeded at making a parody of a parody and condensing the entire content of Uncyclopedia into a single article.

Sexuality[edit]

The pinnacle of comic brilliance.

Everyone is always interested in hearing about sex. They also enjoy seeing detailed pictures of the beautiful thing called sex in a free encyclopedia other than their favorite science and medicine site. Go ahead and include these topics in your work, as everyone loves them:

Rape - There ain't any of dem wimin here, so feel free to include a nice pic of this act of self expression, as it adds to the sites whole appeal.
Goatse - Pure lulz, every time. Re-direct every link on your page to this one. People will applaud your funniness with lots of compliments. It's just like the 90's again!
Beastiality - Again, full of high quality lulz. We need ~~more~~ moar of them pics of a horse's cock in some wimin's vagina. Take note that the images you see on ED articles had to have been downloaded at some point by the users who posted them, and it sure as hell wasn't just for putting a caption under them.
Give cartoon characters genitals - For example, give Bugs Bunny a penis and have him ejaculate on Elmer Fudd. And this, according to ED-apologists, is known as "Satire". Read that sentence again.

If you are completely lost in the hellhole of Encyclopedia Dramatica, here is the map that describes where to put your porn and other shit there.

Flamewars[edit]

See how much better ED is than Uncyclopedia? No.

Why stop at forum flaming, when you can flame right on the front of an article. Doing this will not only bring loads of lulz, people will side with you because everyone loves a good flamewar on their wiki. Here are some basic guidelines:

Always open your section with: <insert user name here> sucks cock/takes it up the ass/is a gay fucktard. Not only will the viewers love it, they will too be inspired to call each other gay-cock-sucking-fucktard-facists-who-takes-it-up-the-ass, as this is considered a compliment to them.

Put a section containing solely the chat log. People luuuv reading chat logs, because, again everyone luvz that kind of stuff.

Declare that you or your side pwned the opposition and that your posts had epic win, even if the flamewar was generally inconclusive.

Blackmail[edit]

Someone booted you off the server? Annoying n008 keeps on pwning joo? Want to make friends? Dig up some dirt and dish it out. Even if it isn't even dirt, dish it out anyway. Here are some guidelines to follow:

Unlike Uncyclopedia, vanity is approved and considered funny. Find some user from some forum and post up a whole mess of photoshopped images, especially those that show the user with a penis in his/her mouth. These get uber-lulz.
If you are lucky, your blackmail may get put on the front page.
ALWAYS link your victim's page to another page which adequately describes how you feel about him/her.
Say how much of a gay-fascist-conformist-cock-loving-whore your target is, and include detailed pics that prove your point.
Visit sites like YouTube and hack users accounts, being sure to take lots of screenshots, and report back to ED to post it all and claim your prize.
Be very mature and highly intelligent about it to convince people that your target really is a dick-sucking-pedophile-fascist-whiner.

Random Unfunniness[edit]

Welcome to Encyclopedia Dramatica. Here's your article with extra shit sauce and a side of flamewar. Would you like to Epicsize that for an extra 25 cents, lardbag?

Just like Uncyclopedia, some randomness is appreciated. At ED, however, the randomness is funnier and includes topics such as:

Memes. Memes are those funny, stupid things found on internet chatrooms, blogs, pages that are always funny even after the ~~3000th~~ 9000th time they have been included or referred to.
To keep your memes alive, put your meme on new pictures that have not yet been seen. For example, the "O rly?" meme could go on a picture of a kitten, Chuck Norris, Jesus or goatse.
Unlike Uncyclopedia, use your memes out of context whenever you feel like it. For example, if you are bashing user "A" for some hilarious comment he/she made on the forum, include a picture of "Ceiling Cat" with the captions "Ceiling Cat is watching user 'A' enjoying goatse with user 'B' ". It will never get old.
Epic: Pimp out the word epic like a 15 year old Tijuana whore during spring break season. No event, person or idea on Encyclopedia Dramatica is ever small or minor or even average or normal. Almost everything fits in the category of epic win, epic fail, epic lulz or epic faggotry. Due to epic inflation the value of the word epic has seen an epic drop. TYPE SENTENCES IN ALL CAPS TO RETAIN THE IMPLICATION OF SIGNIFICANCE.
It's always funny when you post a picture of a dick getting chopped up, you'd go from regular to popular.
Putting unfunny jokes into rainbow text will make it much lulzier.

Example:

LOLBUTTSECKS

The Writing Process[edit]

Rome wasn't built in a day, but this isn't Uncyclopedia, so if you want to write your article in one day, go ahead! The people at ED luuuuuuuv short and succinct articles, mostly because they get so many lulz!!!111!! Forget about the whole review and peer editing, any shit will do. They are not as picky and demanding as the folks here. Here are some simple guidelines:

Content[edit]

Uncyclopedia is known for it's slogan Content Free. Conservapedia is known for it's The Trustworthy Encyclopedia. ED is known for In Lulz we Trust, which roughly translates into In ads we Trust. ED - like Wikipedia and Uncyclopedia - is full of interesting and well written articles of decent length. ED is constantly fighting against its fictional enemies, the truth is nobody cares about their articles but them. Proof of this is their article bashing 4chan and Anonymous. There has been no "raid" on ED over it, indicating that it is below the interest of 4chan and Anonymous. And that is pretty low.

Administration[edit]

Most userpages of ED are vandalized to hell by the sysops and are just a display of the sysops' insecurities and delusions of greatness. For example: If you were to correct a typo in an article you will usually get warning that you will be B& soon. If you were to explain that you just fixed the spelling of "th" to "the" you would next see this.

OMG LIEK IM A SYSOPS AN YOU NEED TO LEARN HOW TO EDIT NOOB. YOU DONT GO AROUND EDITING PAGES FAGGOT!!!1ONE - sysops
- Okay wont do it again. - you
  - THATS RIGHT YOU WONT FAGGOT GO CRY SOME MORE YOU FAGGOT NOOB! WHAAA WHAAA SOMEBODY CALL THE WHAMBULANCE - sysops
    - What? - You
22:38, 1 July 2012 Sysops (Talk | Contribs) ræped "YOU (Talk | Contribs)" with an expiry time of Infinite ‎ (And he was leik "please please don't ban me I'll do anything" and I was liek OMG ur so butthurt, I just owned this guy so hard. )