Federal Communications Commission

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“The FCC is short for The Fucking Cocksucking Cuntsandwiches

~ Oscar Wilde on The FCC

The FCC hard at work
The real hidden seal of the Fascist Communications Commission (FCC)!

Federal Commission of Cusswords or FCC (also known as Fucking Cock Crammers, Freedom Control Coalition, Fascist Communications Commission, Federal Censorship Commission, Fucking Corporation Coddlers, Fascist Communist Cocksuckers, Fucking Communication Cunts, Fucking Communist Censors, Faggoty Cock-Blocking Clam-Fuckers, and Feminist Conversation Control), pronounced "FUCC; plural 'FCCs', pronounced 'faeces'", is the body responsible for the education of the United States populace in the correct use of profanity. Recent press releases indicate the FCC will change their name to the Ministry of Truth, which will go by the shorter name minitrue. The purpose of existence to get rid of every anime and heavy rock in the world. The FCC has recently transitioned into the propaganda arm of God Emperor Trump and has released a detailed plan to fuck the entire Internet at once.

Constant violators of FCC regulations are often taken away by men in black suits (Often wearing Nazi symbols) and sent to FCC Extermation Camps for mass genoside reeducation.

Public statements from the FCC regarding the constitutionality of their existence: "Yeah we're infringing on your right to free speech and what the fuck are you going to do about it?"

The current head of the FCC is George Carlin.

Example of FCC Regulation[edit]

A recent FCC communique to all radio and television stations contained the following advice:


To whom it may concern,
It is with growing concern that we at the FCC have learnt of inappropriate usage of the following words: bastard, shit, fuck, cunt, piss, Martha Stewart; and the concatenations "cocksucker", "Marthafucker", "asshole", "shitcock", "chickenspooge" and "antifreeze".
Anyone found to be broadcasting these words inappropriately will face strict financial penalty. In particular, we draw your attention to the following guidelines:
  • Bastard can only refer to fuckheads of the male gender
  • Cocksucker can trip up the unwary leading them to pronounce it "Sockcooker" - avoid this pitfall by using simpler phraseology such as "giver of fellatio"
  • When the word fuck appears in print be warned that a simple exchange of characters can lead to infringement of trademark
  • All the above words in all grammatical forms can be utilised at any time to avoid staleness and repetition, for example, the phrase "Fuck off" can be replaced with "Martha Stewart's moist plum dumplings"
As always we do remind you that if you have children amongst your audience please be sensible and ensure they grow up with the correct profanity habits,
P.S. - Can somebody please tell us what Bucocky means? It's driving us crazy!!
P.S.S - By "strict financial penalty", we actually mean that SS members will take you to a extermination camp in which you will be executed and buried in mass graves!

The Plan to F*** the Entire Internet[edit]

In 2017 the FCC unveiled its plan to f*** the entire Internet at once. Chairman George Carlin was quoted as saying “We’re gonna f*** the t*** right off this b****” in reference to the Internet. They started off with a short YouTube prank in which they released Ashit Pie from the gimp suit he was kept in and let him sexually assault a woman named Netisha “Net” Newtralidy. Claiming it was “Just a prank, bro” they then proceeded onto phase 2. In Phase 2 the FCCs (Feces) began snorting an “assmetric shit-ton” of cocaine. With no phase 3 Ashit Pie, still high on cocaine, devised a plan in which the FuCC would be able to use the device that sends censor bars into the Internet invented by FCC Vice Chairman Dave Coulier to send a naked and lubricated Ashit Pie into the Internet to f*** it. Vice Chairman Dave Coulier said he came up with the device while watching Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. “If they could send chocolate bars through the TV, why couldn’t we send censor bars through the Internet?” he said. Vice Chairman Dave Coulier also added that “[He] went along with it because [he could] finally censor Bob Saget”. At **:** PM everyone on the Internet at the time found their favorite Internet pages being viciously defiled by Ashit Pie, his body lubricated with petroleum and sweat as he f***** the entire Internet at once.

The Secrets of the FCC REVEALED![edit]

The recent spate of gratuitous nudity on the internet has prompted strict new censorship guidelines.

Sorry, this was cencored by the FCC because it involves badness.

So yeah, most of those fuckers at the FCC are stoners and deserved to get fist fucked cause they censor lots of shit. Their secrets are that they're all addicted to drugs and shit. I know a few guys who work for them and they all get stoned and drunk and have dirty sex with male gigolos and horses; its a fucking ape fest down there! You wanna know what we think of them? Well, we like to be nice to them, which is to say that they are the middle finger and whoever takes them out isawesome. They deserve to be thrown into oblivion like the worms they are and whoever would be nice enough to do that should be famous.

See also[edit]