“Its Friday! Friday! Gotta get down on Friday!”
“It's good, but it's really warm sometimes”
“If you can't take the heat, get out of the kitchen”
Day is the period of time when that giant light bulb known as the sun is switched on for a few hours. It was created by God a very long time ago, and before it was, the world was cold, dark, and smelled like tomatoes for some reason. There had been a large increase in people falling off the edge of the world, which was also causing problems (Please keep in mind that this predates the 1492 decision to make the world round, proposed by Christopher Columbus). There was a massive uproar of all the sleepy people, complaining they never knew when to get up or go to bed. These complaints were often followed by loud crashes and mild concussions. It was for these reasons that day was created.
It has been discovered that day is usually hotter than night. Many theories revolve around this, all of which are COMPLETELY FUCKING WRONG. The true reason for this is the that the night is gross. Every encounter day has had with night ends with day being covered in some sort of liquid called "dew".
“yeah, well I don't know what it really is, but I don't want it near me”
The day looks better, smells better, and always has a very bright attitude. She's also very generous, giving all men free boners every morning. The night on the other hand, is always dark. Not once has she ever told a joke, laughed, or anything. She's scary too, telling us there might be something outside but never showing us. Also, night tends to help criminals. Because of this and many other reasons, many people think night should be outlawed.
On another note, some people think the day is too hot. For those people, I would like to introduce you to a wonderful little device.
Although day received decent reception (The kind that makes AT&T jealous), some were not thrilled about it. Within seconds of the first sunrise, animals were blinded and had their eyes melted like marshmallows too close to a fire due to not being well adjusted to the light. Immediately following this was a lawsuit between the Dinosaurs, some of the biggest sufferers, and God. (For more on this lawsuit, and the results, see Asteroids)
- In 1643, seven of the best days (out of the millions already had) were selected to be repeated over and over again (see Weekday). Needless to say, five out of seven of these days are fucking stupid.
- In 1771, an 8th day of the week called Caturday was added. Unfortunately it was removed a year later in 1772 for unknown reasons.
- Critics rated day an 8.5/10.
- Homo Sapiens usually do stuff during the day, such as eating, shitting, and walking around like the mindless sheeple they are. Please note they still do things at night, like drunk driving, fucking, and robbing houses, but daytime is the preferred time of day (which may or may not be due to the fact that it's the only time of day).
- Some animals prefer the night because they are still butthurt over being blinded. These animals are commonly reffered to as Nocturnal.