Cuisine of the United States

Breeding result

American food is the feed for swine, developed in the United States of America. It is disputed it's worth eating or not for human beings. However, the USA claims that it is.

History

As a result of the pursuit of efficiency in meals, the American body is satisfied by only one or two kinds of seasonings and able to digest and to absorb only wheat, sugar, meat, fat and potatos. Therefore the Americans basically eat only things as mentioned above, and other foods are just arrangements for them.

Later, Americans who wished for improvements of thier cuisine standing, urged United Nation to recognize them as one of the world standard cuisines. but EU nations rebelled, and in 1983, their Cuisine was formally recognized as feed for pigs.

Expansion to the world

With American economy and the fast food developed, the American food has spreaded all over the world. As a result, it continues increase of pigs all over the world, and many developed nations are troubled with the increase of swine.

An armed group called Association of Slow Food is created in Italy in order to be opposed to this, and marched into international hog raising organizations, such as M██████d's and K███████ f████ ███ck█n. Although, the investigation records that 20,032 of 22,421 members have become pigs.

Americans also guessed so or such, in that situation, there are not less Americans prefer to low-calorie things self-pulificaticaly. Although they use dressing to the salad in large quantities are often found, because they said that vegetables are healthy. In brief that's already ███ ████.

Explanation

Ketchup in American cuisine is all of it. All cooking ingredients are seasoned with ketchup, and it is usual that if still less ketcup food was there, they bring them own ketchup out from them handbag and fix it's taste.

It is said that what important from Americans is not taste but atmosphere during the meals. However such a thing is result of that they got used to ketchup from childhood, and it's silly talk.

There are people who compares American foods with United Kingdoms' one; This is crucial different that U.K.'s become human's provisions but American are feed for swine.

Staple foods

French Fries

Fried potato, the American staple food. It makes able to take high calories, and swine will glow up large bodies. Because this is vegetable, very good for health. In spite of that it's called 'french' fries, Frenchs not eat it very much because they are retarded. As a result, once it had attempted to change it's name "freedom fries". But strangely, because through freedom is one of mottoes raised by USA, it's also which laking in America and unnecessary to swine, this project was rejected. Some salt is sprinkled as seasoning, but of course it is offered with ketchup. In fast food shops in America, ketchup and mayonnaise are fully equipped, and each able to choose as they like. It's looked that America respects mind of freedom. In addition, American way to eat it is not putting ketchup but dipping it into the ketchup.

Hamburger

One of the symbols of the American cooking. Because catching various ingredients between bread to get perfect nourishment balance, it's healthy. Naturally it is custom that topping with ketchup mentioned above protrudes from the gap of the bread in large quantities. Most American fast food shops hamburger isn't put ketchup, and swine put ketchup or mayonnaise to it themselves. The swine can exercise so that lazy pig moves only then and it's rational. Large swine can get larger bodies to keep rationality on the stud farms. Those systems aren't in Japan which hasn't purpose to breed swine, and we are admired them.

Hot dog

One of the symbols of the American cooking. It putted sausage on the bread, and there is preferred which not delicious so as if German look them, will get enraged and do the suicide attack with H&K into the White House. In many hot dog shops, onion and oil soaked onion are free, and they can get also onion and pickles smell and fat. Naturally, sausages have many fat, and there is looked that rationality of swine breeding American policy.

Pizza

It's originated from Italia. But there are preferred which not delicious so as if Italians look them, will get enraged and do suicide attack with Beretta. Various ingredients on it to get perfect nourishment balance, it's healthy. Through it is usually that ketchup mixed with fried garlic and so on(commonly known as pizza sauce) spread under cheese, as like as hamburger, swines themselves can put ketchup, mayonnaise or mustard sauce to suffer with high blood pressure.

Barbecue

It is one of a little valuable traditional culture in U.S.A., and Daddy's important work. While a piglet praising courtesy "Daddy,Cool!", as for the Mommy pig's turn is nothing. About the materials, there is not the custom to "prepare as much as to be able to eat" such as Japan. The rational thought that you should abandon it if you remain it, brings room for refrigerator and anger for foreign countries.It is usually seasoning with the sauce of the roasted meat in which often performed in Japan, but they uses barbecue sauce in U.S.A. This is fully spread as like as ketchup and number of Americas own nuclear weapons. I feel parent pigs' consideration to bring up piglets.

Peanut Butter Sandwich

The special favorite of the piglet. It can be made easily because it's just sliced bread spread with fully peanuts butter. American mammies' cooking repertory is so poor that they only can make it for piglets. Even those peanuts butter have a lot of sugar so as it makes inside of them mouth gritty, otherwise piglets not be satisfied. In the first place, "sand" in peanut butter sand derived from it has sandy texture of particles of sugar couldn't dissolved into peanut butter, when eat it. And when they graduate from this, hamburgers and hot dogs which fully applied ketchup become the new feed for them.

Drinks

In the cuisine of the United States, drink is also important feed to bring up swine, and high calories one is suitable.

Cola

Water for swine. It consumed over 1 litres in one meal. It is mixed water, sugar and some what bad for health. In most scene, American foods are served with this; It's important thing more than wine in French or beer in German; If you order set menu in American fast food shop and don't say anything about drink, it will be served without permission. If you put Mentos into this of the diet type for the swine which have not the awareness to live only as a pig anymore, it will turn to bomb which pigs like.

Beer

Water for adult swine. Although many brands are marketed they are all the same, being mostly water with a little added alcohol and no taste. American beer is a comic version of that brewed else where in the world, indeed a leading beer writer has called it "insipid yellow piss water that I wouldn't give to a plant in a desert."

Bourbon

Refreshing, solid, mellow and wild nature taste. It is only American cuisine worth consuming for human beings. However there aren't almost seen anyone drink it at American bar. After all it's pig country.

Vodka

A harsh colourless liquid that gives the underage swine a sort of variety. Usually drank among the emo and scene groups, as they tend to be transformed into more of a communist than they already are.

Desserts

What the...

Dessert in the cuisine of the United States is feed to raise swine larger, as manure in plants. For raise swine, it's indispensable.

Doughnut

Lumps of the wheat flour fried in the oil. Oil is good for promote growth of swine. It is splendid idea that even dessert raise swine large.

Ice Cream

Because it's purpose is intake of the calorie, it has much sugar and milk fat, but other nutritive value and taste are out of problems. Standard serving is 10 Kg. To dig frozen one with all power to increase swine's muscular strength. It is made by taking 77 dairy cows' milk, and using only the fat part, is distilled into pure fat. It is then mixed with 20 litres of flavouring, bleach (for white teeth.), and cancer.

Popcorn

Ash left by blowing corn up. Although salted one is popular in Japan, because it's feed in America, there are calorie rich butter-source putting machines in many movie theaters; Because swine can put source for themselves, it's good at exercise of them. In many case, it sold in full bucket. Even if you haven't any appetite, It is not able to enter the theatre without this bucket. In addition, if we prepare a bucket of popcorn in Japan, it'll costs more expensive than admission of movie theater. It means difference between swine's feed and human's provisions.