Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/April 18

April 18: Dependence Day (Canada), International Throw a Baby in the Canal Day

• 4105 BCE - In order to save him from the pharaoh's execution order, Moses's mother takes her son to Disneyland and drops him into the waters of the Splash Mountain log flume ride. His hair turns completely white. Pharaoh's soldiers pass him by as they think he is a tiny Indian yogi in a loincloth with a mystical 1000-yard stare.
• 1309 - This day also became National Rythym Day.
• 1310 - The first anniversary of National Rythym Day is henceforth paired with the World Miss Speling Contest.
• 1485 - A conductor accidentally gives his orchestra jazz band music. Hilarity ensues.
• 1524 - The world's first Spanish restaurant is founded by Hernán Cortéz in Tenochtitlan.
• 1948 - The League of Nations is dissolved and replaced by a simpler, easier-to-organize style tournament-format competition called the UN. Surprisingly, the Swedish are champions of the inaugural competition.
• 1958 - The Supreme Court of the United States bans poetry and evicts all known poets from the country.
• 1972 - First public toilet opens in Texas. Texans ignore this, and continue urinating in public.
• 1983 - A suicide plumber floods the United States embassy in Beirut, Lebanon.
• 1955 - Albert Einstein dies being struck by lightning while playing golf in North Carolina. God cannot be blamed as He was playing dice at the time.
• 1990 - United States Re-Endangerment Day is the first U.S. national holiday created in honor of rednecks and their contributions to American culture.
• 2002 - The internet is officially declared "useless and beyond redemption" by the Norwegian military.
• 2006 - Captain Obvious says you're reading this.