Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/October 14
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October 14: National Hit an Annoying Person in the Head Day
- 1066 - William the Conqueror punches Harold Godwinson in the head at the Battle of Hastings.
- 1519 - Hernán Cortés takes the Procol Harum song Conquistador as a personal insult and mistakenly invades Mexico to track down the band.
- 1789 - Mutinous sailors attempt to hit their captain Lt. William Bligh while he is on the toilet.
- 1793 - Marie Antoinette submits to the guillotine to avoid being hit in the head.
- 1869 - American football is invented in order to allow players to hit each other in the head. This game is based on association football which only allows players to kick each other in the groin.
- 1918 - The Russian royal family are hit in their heads, then shot, bayoneted, strangled, beaten to a pulp and buried. Twice.
- 1960 - Dean Martin records Ain't That a Kick in the Head while suffering from a concussion caused by Frank Sinatra.
- 1992 - The entire Royal family of Britain is smacked 'upside the head'. Prince Philip's brain would never be found even though it may have never existed at all.
- 1999 - A PC spits a CD out of its CD-ROM drive, hitting Bill Gates in the head. This is the first confirmed instance of artificial intelligence.
- 2002 - Fran Drescher is hit in the head with a large halibut. Fortunately, the halibut is unharmed.
- 2004 - Subway's Jared Fogle is knocked unconscious when struck in the face with a stale foot-long loaf of Italian Herbs-'n'-Cheese Bread. As a result, Jared will endure several painful operations to remove razor-sharp breadcrumbs and flakes of oregano which are lodged deep in his sinuses.
- 2011 - Steve Jobs, who found everyone he ever met to be annoying, dies before being able to hit them all in the head.
- 2016 - Donald Trump is hit in the head when a Trump Tower wall collapses on him; x-rays of his head show nothing.
- 2017 - A person stops to text on crowded subway stairs during rush hour and is trampled by commuters, then is hit in the head by a rat carrying a pizza slice.