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This confirms my theories.”

~ William Crotch

“I'm getting a message....The money....”

~ Crotch, on being able to speak to the dead
Kick my groin and I will kick you back!
Whoa! Look at Godzilla's kickin' Mechagodzilla right on the groin!

A groin is a place where undergrowths such as lemons and carrots are grown.

This is sometimes found in the groin area and the lush green bushes add to the scenery


Randy Orton's famous groin and Groin of Speedo

They are usually grown in a set pattern, usually with two lemons on either side of the carrot, though some people have claimed to have seen three or maybe just one lemon along with two, four or maybe zero carrots.

However the plants in the groin plantation can be replaced by other things. Some groins have two potatoes and a green chilli, and some groins have two cherries with a bitter gourd.

A groin can be found anywhere, usually in the backyard. When a groin starts out fresh and young and the seeds are planted, it is usually a barren piece of land. However as years go by and life starts to grow, thick bushes and large forests are a common sight. The seeds usually evolve into large/small fruits, depending on where the seeds came from. As more life evolves, animals start to lay their habitats in the forests. A common sight is birds, elephants, mooses, and blood-sucking leeches. This should however be prevented. See Maintenance


This is not a groin protector. The real groin protector is a helmet with spikes curved inwards
This guy is going to have to fix some broken carrots and lettuces when he goes home

Groins need to be maintained like any other possessions. In fact, they are to be maintained as if they are the most prized possessions to prevent forest creatures from taking over. Firstly, the groin needs to be mowed using a lawn mower and the bushes need to be watered every day to keep up the lush greenness of the place. Be sure not to destroy the carrots or the lemons in the lawn-mowing process, because it is hard to find another carrot, and I dont think your neighbour will be very happy to lend you one of his (or hers).

Also, while playing kickboxing, krav maga or garroté (like in the photograph) in your backyard, one should watch out not to tread on the groin area. It is advisable to use a groin protector, such as the one shown below.


For eternity, man has known that the groin is a sensitive area. The groin of Speedo Randy Orton has been chopped, punched and grazed in the groin an estimated 752, 976 times as is shown.