Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/May 8

May 8: National Bad Hair Day (Estonia)

• 1359 - Pantaloons are invented. Could shoes with pointy tips be far behind?
• 1865 - The first nomination of Popeye the Sailorman for sainthood is turned down by the Vatican. (pictured)
• 1914 - Errors in year length calculations results in three months of 1913 being lived through all over again.
• 1919 - Warren G. Harding moistens a finger before he fingers a page.
• 1945 - V-E Day, victory in Europe. France unconditionally surrenders to US troops, paving the way for the construction of EuroDisney.
• 1952 - DDT is recommended as the next no-calorie sweetener.
• 1960 - Billy Graham Crusade catastrophe: "Go into the fields, Ruth; the rapers shall not molest you."
• 1982 - Abolition of the fixed turnip/gold exchange rate is endorsed by the American government.
• 1989 - Bay City Rollers: we're still mad for plaid!
• 2007 - An upsurge in dad jokes causes hundreds of Millennial fatalities from head desks.
• 2012 - Lightsaber invented. An overwhelming influx of nerd-gasms cause suicide rates to triple worldwide, as auto-erotic asphyxiation takes on a new form.
• 2042 - The golem device is invented to instantly cure over-sexiness.