Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/March 9

March 9: It's Raining All Over the World Day, even though it isn't

• 40,000 BCE - God sends rain on the just and on the unjust, creating a very wet Captain Obvious in the process.
• 6565 BCE - Noah just begins to wash his chariot when he starts to feel drops of rain.
• 506 BCE - Pythagoras invents the mud pie.
• 375 BCE - Aristotle discovers that when it rains, one gets wet standing outside. Paddington Bear explains to him how to stay dry but only gets into a lifelong feud with Aristotle.
• 21 CE - The collapsible umbrella is invented. Ironically, thousands would drown waiting in line to buy one during a terrible storm.
• 1042 - Mott and bailey castles fall out of favor when Mott and Bailey go their separate ways.
• 1346 - The English defeat the French at the Battle of Crécy, when French knights stand for hours in falling rain and rust to death.
• 1679 - Isaac Newton invents gravity for apples.
• 1891 - Nikola Tesla and Thomas Edison fight over AC/DC, B&D and AT&T.
• 1934 - Scotland has its first rainless day in ages. Nessie surfaces to see what's wrong and gets her picture taken.
• 1940 - 9-year-old future Watergate burglar Gordon Liddy stands on a roof during a severe storm to cure his fear of thunder and lightning. The resulting pneumonia would shrink his brain to the size of a walnut, making him perfect for a job in law enforcement and later, radio.
• 1965 - Prince Rainier of Monaco goes to Mt. Rainier to see which one is.
• 2017 - Pres. Donald Trump is rescued by Secret Service agents when he stands outside the White House looking up with his mouth open during a heavy rainstorm.