Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/March 18

March 18: Suicide-by-Boasting Day, National RAD day (pictured) (UK, 1989-2000, 2007), End of the Boob Festival (Neptune)

• c.51,000 BC - World Happiness Day is declared with a series of rhythmic grunts when two Homo erecti discover fire.
• 1904 - Dessie Noonan is the first to commit suicide by boasting.
• 1906 - Pope declares suicide by boasting a mortal sin, worse than butt sex, watching anime and murder.
• 1906 - Pope says his decree was best decree ever. He is found dead in a hotel outside Reno, NV with a syringe in his arm.
• 1953 - President Joseph McCarthy briefly bans kitten huffing, but later retracts said decree, claiming he "was high off [his] ass."
• 1954 - Scientists discover the Moon.
• 1955 - Scientists find out it wasn't really the Moon they discovered, but the Sun.
• 1966 - The Evelyn War ends, and Michelle Pfeiffer, a secret code developed by Captain Obvious, officially replaces traditional right-to-left writing, as decreed by the Kansas Board of Education
• 1991 - Rad Suits become the latest craze in the UK, after teen hero Margaret Thatcher is seen in one.
• 1992 - Michael Jackson re-releases Bad as Rad. However, no-one is impressed when it is just the same track with "rad" replacing "bad" in the lyrics, and the song does very badly. This causes him to turn a paler shade.
• 1994 - Tears for Fears reach Number One on the new show Top of the Flops. They would have reached Number One on Top of the Pops, but failed to say "rad" during the entire song.
• 2000 - Rad Day is abolished after the phrase isn't considered rad anymore.
• 2005 - Rick James dies of chronic diarrhea... finally!
• 2007 - Rad Day returns for one year with a concert featuring Michael Jackson. The 10 people that attended say things were "Like, well rad init."
• 2008 - After numerous requests by the American public, God finally damns it. It is never seen again.