Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/July 19

July 19: Swallows Return (San Juan Capistrano, US), Great Cat Feast (also San Juan Capistrano), Ice Age ends

• 193 - Romans make a chicken and then a plate of fruit their emperor as all human choices are lacking.
• 1018 - King Æthelred the Unready finally thinks of a snappy reply to an insult by the Vikings. Unfortunately, he is already dead.
• 1545 - The Tudor warship Mary Rose sinks off Portsmouth, after leaving a porthole ajar in a storm.
• 1553 - Jean Grey (pictured) is replaced as Phoenix by Queen Mary, after holding that title for just nine days.
• 1788 - The constant chatter of swallows returning to San Juan Capistrano wakes the kraken. Not able to go back to sleep, it goes out for breakfast only to get burnt hash browns and the wrong kind of toast.
• 1864 - Rebels are defeated in the Taiping Rebellion by Chinese forces, with elements regrouping to join Robert E. Lee in Virginia.
• 1870 – France declares war on Chef Boyardee, starting the Franco-American War.
• 1877 - The first Wimbledon Tennis Championship is held, oddly enough, in Hoboken, New Jersey.
• 1992 - Actor Luke Perry reaches the height of his celebrity and records a world-record 18 public service announcements in one day.
• 1977 - The first GPS signal is sent and scientists tracking it are sent to parts unknown, never to be seen again.
• 2009 - After not returning en masse to San Juan Capistrano, biologists carefully glue any swallows they find into their nests. Local restaurants are unable to serve all-you-can-eat roast swallow dinners.
• 2622 - Time machines are invented, and history is re-written. All the above is rendered possibly false.