Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/December 2

December 2: International Boring Nordic Culture Heritage Day

• 6000 BCE - Mankind is born from the toil of an ice giant melting into the ocean. At least that's what Viking creationists say.
• 432 - Thor gets arrested in Valhalla after being accused of destroying an orphanage while drunk chariot driving. Embarrassed, the Nordic people begin converting to Christianity.
• 793 - Vikings visit Lindisfarne Abbey in northern England, bringing home a suspicious amount of souvenirs.
• 900 - Erik the Red, a Viking explorer and real estate agent, discovers a big block of ice, utterly unsuitable for human life. He gives it the name "Greenland" to attract customers.
• 957 - A third of Denmark's population dies, victims of the mysterious "axe in the head" plague.
• 966 - Vikings reach Constantinople, bringing home alabaster chess sets and cheap carpets as souvenirs.
• 1000 - Explorer and murderer Leif Erikson discovers America, but realizes his mistake in time and lets Columbus and Vespucci have all the blame.
• 1429 - Hamlet, Prince of Denmark, decides not to be, and disappears immediately.
• 1755 - Danish pastries are first introduced to non-Danes, this time without the axe in the head followup.
• 1859 - Hans Christian Andersen writes The Emperor Is a Nudist, a beloved fairy tale. Andersen would leave unfinished the sequel The Empire Strikes Back.
• 1916 - Europe is at war. Swedes have an excellent game of bridge.
• 1940 - Europe is at war again. Swedes read a lot of good books.
• 2010 - Bruce Willis is declared legally bald.