UnNews:What do you mean Ricky Martin is gay?
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What do you mean Ricky Martin is gay? |
13 April 2010
WARNING: This column may be too homosexual for heterosexuals. If you don't like this article, than you are a militant homophobic George W. Bush ass kisser. People of other sexual orientations should only read this article for a good laugh and to mock all parties involved herein. |
HI. This is Perez Hilton here. I've been doing fab-u-lous! I'm writing this column because I heard some shocking, startling news recently. Ricky Martin has recently come out of the closet!
Seriously though, there is NO WAY that this could be TRUE. I never would have thought somebody would call Ricky Martin -- singer of "Livin' La Vida Loca," "Shake Your Bon Bon," and "She Bangs" -- a homosexual. That's just BLASPHEMOUS!
Ricky is as straight as a line. He always has been, ever since he burst onto the scene as a member of Menudo. Take a look at the above picture, there is nothing to suggest that any of the members could possibly be queer, right? RIGHT???? I thought so.
Please, mainstream media, if you want to jump on the bandwagon of calling somebody gay, why not take cheap shots at a more worthy opponent, such as Clay Aiken or Ryan Seacrest. Call George Clooney a queer, if you will.
Sources[edit]
- Eric Chavez "Ricky Martin tells the world what it already knew". The Signal, April 12, 2010
- Captain Obvious "Ricky Martin is gay". A large series of papers on which news is written down for people to read daily, April 12, 2010