UnNews:US Democrats give Entire World to Terrorists
| Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother? | ✪ | UnNews | ✪ | Thursday, November 21, 2024, 18:48:59 (UTC) |
| US Democrats give Entire World to Terrorists | 
|
28 March 2007
It has been revealed on FOX News today that the Democrat controlled U.S. Congress has voted to give the entire planet to the Taliban and Al Qaeda. The Majority Chairman, Nancy Pelosi, and the Far Left Congress stated that they want US troops to quit fighting the poor terrorists, since they are a endangered species. Speaker Pelosi said that the Islamic Terrorists have had their freedom of religion violated and that their rights must be protected to worship in any way they feel is right. If that means they must convert the rest of the world to radical Islamic terrorist ideals, then so be it. President Bush responded today that Congress is wrong on this issue and are pro-terrorism. Senator John Kerry insisted that we must support Islamic Terrorists so that they may have the sanctity of life, liberty, and religious freedom to celebrate God. We must, he emphasized, put an end to discrimination against Islamic Terrorists. The Bill that Congress has passed cuts out all US defense in order to end the war on terror, so that the Taliban can tell women in the US to quit driving, become prisoners in their own houses, get genitally mutilated, and become third class citizens under a 8th Century directive. These steps are necessary to end discrimination against Islamic Terrorists. Men, except the "Caliph," will become enslaved as well. Those that do not have the potential to convert to Islam like Atheists and Homosexuals will be beheaded. In one week, the U.S. and the entire Free World will surrender to the Islamic Terrorists, just as France already did in 2001, after the U.S. got hit on 9-11. The surrender of the U.S. to the Taliban and Al Qaeda is to be unconditional. The U.S. Democrats will form a provisional government for the U.S., then fade out of existence. Senator Ted Kennedy said that he welcomes our new Islamic Terrorists overlords.
In the '50s, the Democrat Congress pulled the same thing in North Korea, now that nation is under a Communist Dictatorship.
In the ' 60s and ' 70s, the Democrat Congress pulled the same thing in Viet Nam, now that nation is under a Communist Dictatorship.
In the ' 90s, the Democrat Congress pulled the same thing in Somalia, now that nation is under a Radical Islamic Dictatorship.
A major benefit, according to a Far Left Democrat, will be that "We won't have to put up with modern WOMEN drivers blocking traffic anymore, thanks to Islamic law."
Under Islamic law, to which the United States and other nations will be subject, Atheists, homosexuals, and other undesirables will be beheaded in public. Of course, this means a lot of Liberal Democrat supporters will be subject to genocide. Radical Clerics will open up concentration camps to convert Jewish and Christian people to Islam or be shunned by Islamic Terrorists if they refuse. Followers of non-Judeo-Christian religions will be declared slaves.
“Now, if you don't get a good education, you won't be stuck in Iraq any more.”
“Since we are going back to the 8th century, we won't be burning a lot of fossil fuels, and thus we can finally win the war on global warming”
“The Liberals claim I've done a lot of dumb stuff as President, but nothing compares to this level of stupidity from Congress! Waaaa! I want to be The Decider again!! I am just a lame duck President who cannot even stop the Democrats from abusing their powers. ”
“We ended the war in Iraq and Afghanistan as promised. Now let us talk and discuss our options, and I'll be open to your ideas. Take your hands off me, no I refuse to wear a burka! AAAAAAAA!”
“I claim the oil companies and Wal-Mart, I took some UK sailors hostage and the US Congress caved in. I supported the terrorists in Iraq and Afghanistan so it is only fair that I get my cut.”
“Holy shit! I was wrong and Bush was right! All of this time we've been attacking Republicans, when the real enemy was Islamic Terrorists. Things were never this bad under Republican leadership!”
“Maybe my son Casey really did die for a just cause in a just war and I was wrong the whole time?”
“Stupid Americans! Muaahahahahahaah! I was hiding in northern Pakistan the whole time!”
“Excuse me, my big fat lesbian ass is on fire now!”
“Well all of the secular progressives and liberals that were against the war are eating crow now. I was right and they all were wrong. Too bad I won't live long enough to enjoy it.”
“In Soviet Russia, Terrorists surrender to you!”
“You gotta be shitting me - we were winning the war, and then Congress turns chickenshit? This is a long war, people, you have to be in it for a long time. It is an ideology we are fighting here. You don't quit in the middle of a war! We didn't train those Marines just so they can surrender!”
Source[edit]
- FOX News reports that Congress ignores Presidential advice and passes surrender bill anyway and FoxNews.com
- Expert at Surrender
- Expert at diplomancy - NOT - Unless it is to destroy the U.S.A. with some kind of bullshit.
- Experts at giving into pressure
- Undercover UnNews spy
- Holy Bible: Revised Liberal Edition
- HowTo:Be a liberal