UnNews:Trump puts up his Dukes

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2 March 2016

Trump confusion:Daisy Duke and David Duke.

NEW YORK CITY -- Republican Party presidential candidate Donald Trump says he didn't endorse the support of former Ku Klux Klan Grand Wizard David Duke on television. He now says he thought he was being asked a question about Daisy Duke, the queen of the cut off-jeans in the 1970s.

Jake Tapper of CNN pressed Trump, as he would any Republican on the eve of a huge election date, to volunteer that he did not want the votes of some of his backers. But Trump repeatedly evaded the request, at one point saying, "I know nothing about David Duke; I know nothing about white supremacists." Trump did describe Duke as a "Klansman" in 2000 when Duke and Trump were potential Presidential rivals. But that was a long time ago, as is most everything else for the 69-year-old casino magnate. Trump did not even acknowledge Duke last week when he guest-hosted on a white-supremacist talk radio show.

Trump said he was "set up" with a faulty ear piece while being interviewed on CNN. He thought he had heard that "Daisy Duke" was supporting him and remembered her very well on the reality show Dukes of Hazzard.

"I am all for feisty women like Daisy Duke supporting my campaign," said Trump. "She knows when she's picked a winner and, as the recent primaries have proved, I have plenty of support in the South. So when I heard the surname "Duke," I though it was her instead of David Duke. Heck, does it matter? I am going to make America great for everyone, Daisy and David alike. I can't describe how great, you'll see. Isn't he the one that was her cousin with the hopped-up Chevy?"

Trump then tweeted that he did know Duke and had disavowed Duke's support all along, just like a Bill Clinton "apology." But it was too late. House Speaker Paul Ryan called out Trump, saying that Trump should show good faith with a payment of $3 billion toward anti-racism efforts, or by giving back one large Primary state. Sen. Jeff Sessions, expected to support conservative ally Ted Cruz, issued a surprise endorsement of Trump. "We need to stand togethah against the Nigrah," he said. The Democratic Party had no statement on the flap, as it has not been the same since the passing of Senate leader and Grand Kleagle Robert Byrd.

Trump claimed that he received text message support from the "Duke of Downton Abbey" in England and that the Duke of Edinburgh was "right behind me."

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