UnNews:Rivers Cuomo fed up with fake Weezer news

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27 November 2022

In other news, Rivers Cuomo manages to clone himself, so that he can fire Brian, Scott, and Pat.

LOS ANGELES, California -- The frontman of the band Weezer has publicly declared his dissatisfaction with comedy websites running fake articles on him and his music.

Rivers Cuomo, 52, took to Discord and posted a message sure to be read by his half-dozen-or-so followers. "I am sick and tired of sites like The Onion making blatantly false, and dare I say, unfunny news about me and the band", Cuomo's post stated.

Cuomo has issued takedown notices to satire outlets The Hard Times, Robot Butt, and even The Onion. In response to a 2019 article published by The Hard Times, Cuomo tweeted:

Later that day, Cuomo tweeted again after reading a piece on this year's SZNZ project, with one album released each season, reporting that in 2023, Weezer will release 365 albums, one per day.

The imminent release of SZNZ: Winter continues the countdown to Cuomo's promised retirement at 60, avoiding drawing it out as when Paul McCartney or Ringo Starr kept pairing promising tunes with increasingly tone-deaf vocals.

The fifth Weezer, Cuomo's wife, said her husband's reaction to satire is because he doesn't want to be remembered as a meme. Unfortunately, that has already happened, with songs like "Where's My Sex?", "Hash Pipe", and "Beverly Hills", showcasing signature Cuomo jocularity that fatefully convinced joke-writers their work would be received with laughter.

"All I want is for them to just not make up fake quotes about things I say," Cuomo stated. "Like, I'm fine with simple jokes, but when you write an entire fictional, multi-paragraph article, complete with a picture and fake tweets, then you have to ask yourself, has the joke gone too far?"

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