UnNews:Previous lack of Bush vetoes due to technical error

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We distort, you deride ✪ UnNews ✪ Thursday, November 21, 2024, 19:01:59 (UTC)
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21 July 2006


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"Over there, somewhere...", says George W, when asked by UnNews if he knows where Lebanon is.

WASHINGTON DC - President Bush was finally able to use his executive veto powers yesterday when he vetoed a bill that would have legalized the indiscriminant killing of random people. The White House Chief of Staff said today that the reason the President had never vetoed anything until this week had nothing to do with the fact that his own party controlled both houses of Congress since God-knows-when, but was in fact due to a technical glitch in his Microsoft Oval Office software that caused the program to crash every time he tried to access the veto feature.

This is another in a long line of problems stemming from the main force of evil in the world: Microsoft. Condalizza Rice is rumored to be considering expanding the War on Terror to include the multi-billion dollar software giant. Meanwhile, critics of the President have been calling him "old fashioned" and "technophobic" and unfit to lead the country because he doesn't know how to work a computer.

"This reminds me of that one time when they confused Whitehouse.gov with Whitehouse.com!" said Democrat Nancy Pallosi in an exclusive interview with the Communist News Network, "that was the best gay pr0n ever!" That particular mishap was not the fault of Microsoft, however, but of Hewlett-Packard's crappy printers that smudged out part of the address in the printed final draft of that speech.

Meanwhile, everyone is ignoring the crisis in Lebanon because nobody cares.

“I have never seen so much apathy.”

~ Oscar Wilde on television.

Casualties continue to mount as people, on board the luxurious cruise ship that was called to take Katrina Lebanon's American refugees to Disneyland, indiscriminantly kill random people for no redundantly, readily, apparent, redundant reason whatsoever.

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