UnNews:Plaid Cymru propose to unleash Wales onto the UK

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Every time you think, you weaken the nation —Moe Howard UnNews Monday, December 4, 2023, 17:18:59 (UTC)

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31 March 2015

"Now witness the full unleashing of the Welsh economy."

BANGOR, Wales -- Plaid Cymru, the Welsh Nationalist Party, warned in their General Election manifesto that they are prepared to unleash Wales' economic might onto the UK. Party leader Leanne Wood has made it clear that "never has their been a time in history where Wales' power has been needed more than this time."

A consequence of unleashing the Welsh hound will entail the media giving a fair coverage of Wales on UK television. This means that Songs of Praise will be extended to include all of Sunday afternoon and evening on BBC 2 and a harsh tax on Welsh billionaires will help to fund a salary for Aled Jones' that would make him the highest paid BBC presenter of all time. Some of the Welsh population have been frustrated by Plaid's insistence on combining Welsh nationalism with left-wing policies. "I completely agree with Wood's idea to promote our national hero, Aled Jones. However I don't see why we need higher taxes when surely the truck loads of money left around at Broadcasting House that were to be Jeremy Clarkson's salary will easily make up for the expense of Aled Jones' proposed salary," commented Gareth Jones from Swansea.

Plaid Cymru's surge in support comes after the Scottish Referendum last November, when it was shown that making fun of the English and over-confidence doesn't lead to change but it does freak the English out and make them promise you lots of new power. The Welsh, who are inspired by the triumph of keeping their consonants-ridden language alive, wish to push Labour and the Liberal Democrats out of their seats and replace them with Welsh Nationalists who are keen on insisting that Welsh be included on every piece of paper in the UK with English writing already on it - from government documents all the way down to birthday cards.

Economically speaking, Plaid Cymru's motto is, "We're going to have just as good an economy as Scotland does", which is putting off some voters who have noticed the dwindling oil supply from the North Sea and the empty fishing villages that power Scotland's financial mess. The SNP have ignored this, pointing to Scotland's thriving economic centre of Edinburgh as a fine example of financial prosperity and then pointing to Scotland's gang-run city of Glasgow as a fine example Scottish self-determination.