The Meth Belt

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search

The Meth Belt is by far the largest "Belt" region in the US, taking over half the contiguous country. There has been speculation that the Meth Belt extends to Canada, which would make it an international belt. The Meth Belt is the region where Meth usage is most common.

Meth Belt Circa 2005, though it was believed to be even larger as of 2009


The meth belt came about in the 1970s and started in the South. More specifically Alabama and Georgia. However in 1979 the meth belt began expanding into Mississippi and South Carolina after the residents there saw a meth lab on the local news.

The early 1980s it grew expodentially spanning into Texas, Oklahoma, and Missouri, however due to the invention of the next new fad, cocaine, the rest of the 80s would see slow growth of the Meth Belt. It was also speculated that the Meth Belt actually shrank one year in the 80s due to the unreasonable popularity of the lesser drug of cocaine.

The 90s came and Meth came back even bigger than ever. The Midwest, which up until the 90s was corn fields,actually saw extreme growth of meth during the 80s but due to it just being corn fields, everyone ignored it. In 1995 it actually went all the way up to Montana and the rest of the Mountain west region. In 2000 it was confirmed that the meth belt extended into California and Arizona, despite the fact that Mexicans have been trafficking heroin into those states for years.

As of 2009 the Meth Belt was reported to have gotten into Canada. But due to not keeping drug stats that good in Canada, the officialness of such a statement can't be determined, however the residents there have observed lots and lots of meth.


The residents of the Meth Belt are almost exclusively white. It is believed that the reason for this is that the libtards up North told the minorities that Meth was created by the KKK and it would kill any non white

Typical Meth Belt resident and Zach Galifinakis lookalike

person who took it. However meth users came back and said that Northern folks were just jealous of the awesomeness that is meth. Characteristics of the residents of the Meth belt also include buggy eyes, rotting teeth, looking twice as old as you actually are and being extremely skinny. However due to the US having an obesity problem, the extremely skinny characteristic is not as common in the southern region of the Belt.

Meth Capital[edit]

Many major cities in the Meth Belt have argued whether they have the best meth and/or higher percentage of meth users than any other city in the Meth Belt, thus making the Meth Capital of the World. All the major cannidates have good arguments on both sides.


As the orginal cesspool for meth, Atlanta has a very strong argument for being the Meth Capital of the world, They even obtained the nickname Methlanta. Old school meth users still continuously go there for 70s style meth. However, it's meth usage is not as high as the other major contenders.


The argument for Butte, MT as Meth Capital of the World is it's very high percentage of meth users and the uniqueness of their meth due to them using acid from the mine lake in the meth making process, However other cities in contention point out that the city doesn't even have 50,000 people. Methlanta's representative was quoted as saying "ain't no cow town(Butte) have the ability to be meth capital, no matter how good the meth is"


The argument for Fresno being the Meth Capital of the World is that it also has a high percentage of meth users, but however it's meth is subpar compared to the other cannidates, as quoted by famous methhead Tweaky Mcgee, "Frenso's meth is too strong, I spent the week after I took it running around in circle taking it would kill a first time meth user"

Kansas City[edit]

The argument for Kansas City as Meth Capital of the World is that it produces more meth than anywhere else in the meth belt, thus serving as a large hub for meth users. People from all over the Midwest come to Kansas City to get their meth fix due to not enough meth dealers in their home town. However the city itself is in the middle in meth quality and meth usage.