Spacetoon

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“Everything is a planet.”

~ Spacetoon on teaching Arab kids about NASA

“Is mayonnaise a planet?”

~ Patrick Star on Spacetoon

Spacetoon (Arabic: سبيستون) is an Arab children’s channel that airs cartoons poorly dubbed in Arabic by the Syrians. Even though it is an animation channel, it is mostly targeted at weebs. The dubbing studio that provides the dubs for channel is Venus Centre (what a coincidence, huh?). The purpose of the channel is to trick Arab kids into working for NASA.

History (planet)

2000-2005: The Big Bang

The Spacetoon History planet

In 1999, a Bahraini government owned broadcaster made an agreement to launch a seven-hour programming block called Spacetoon which was launched March 15, 2000 and it aired on the Bahraini propaganda channel BTV. It went to air that way forever until 2002 when the ministry's dictatorship threatened to bomb Spacetoon like dude, you are not Hitler. In 2004, Spacetoon moved its secret lair to Dubai and became a self operating channel on satellite television.

In the Arab world, a lot of shows are dubbed in Modern Standard Arabic, which is spoken by dyslexic Arab babies and Al Jazeera. Spacetoon is very closely affiliated with Venus Centre, a Syrian dubbing company which has provided the dyslexic Arabic dubbed versions of the shows, and whose voice actors usually were dyslexic people and Al Jazeera employees for the shows between the years 2001-2015. What Spacetoon is trying to do is to give Arab kids dyslexia. Using Modern Standard Arabic in dubbing played a crucial role in the development of young children’s minds since it would also give them autism. Many people think their own specific Arabic dialect is better to be spoken rather than modern standard. The topic is so controversial that they made a whole war about it. These are one of the reasons why Syria loves conflicts so much.

2005-2013: Spacetoon’s International Erection

Indonesia

“INDIHOME PAKET PHOENIX”

~ IndiHome on Spacetoon Indonesia

“Kami ingin menonton saluran anak-anak Arab!!”

~ Indonesian children on Spacetoon Indonesia

In Indonesia, Spacetoon illegally launched on 24 March 2005. The network was founded by H. Sukoyo, co-founder of Trans7, a channel aimed at transgender people. When it was launched, Spacetoon broadcast from 6 a.m. to 9:30 p.m. Indonesian Time. Kinda like another channel who almost does the same thing. They extended the broadcast timings were extended from 5 a.m. to 11 p.m. Just like how my penis gets extended. When programming ended, a 10-minute section filled with animation, songs, or even stupid and useless life messages were shown for children explaining about it is important to go to the bathroom. In the middle of 2011, due to the channel almost becoming homeless, Spacetoon began having some low-quality side businesses. By broadcasting some home-shopping programs and alternative medicine programs. They even tried to air porn at one time on the channel.

In March 2013, 95% of Spacetoon’s house decor and dad were acquired by Net Visi Media. On May 18, 2013, Spacetoon became homeless and moved to satellite television, due to NET. having a trial broadcast on terrestrial network before it was even born a week later. Poor Spacetoon became fatherless.

Censorship (planet)

This is how Spacetoon censors their shows. Apperantly the woman had a bikini on, which was edited to be more appropriate for muslims. It’s nothing compared to how Basma Channel censors theirs. Basma literally makes it Muslim.

Spacetoon’s ways of censoring shows makes 4Kids look like Mother Teresa. Spacetoon was even considered as the Arabic 4Kids, Since the ways of censoring shows also apply on the various anime shows they air. Many of them are also dubbed by 4Kids.

Here are the steps to Spacetoon censor a show:

1. Place the name of the title of the show at the very beginning at the intro, not the end of the intro. Spacetoon does it so that anymore though. Sometimes they do.
2. Remove naked women. If a woman or a female character shows parts that are haram like boobies and big butts, then you must place clothing on them to ensure that the program is halal but not Islamic. Since there already is a channel that does that.
3. Dub the show in the dyslexic type of Arabic. You can do any show you’d wish.
4. Make the name of the show nonsensical, but in a specific manner. For example, the Arabic dub of Codename: Kids Next Door is أولاد مشاغبون. Which means Naughty Kids.
5. Change the characters’ names from American to Arabic. That is the opposite of what 4Kids does.
6. You are all done. Even though nobody gives a fuck about it, you still did it.

Programming (planet)

The shows on Spacetoon or acquired, unlike Basma Channel who steals and makes it an Islamic VeggieTales-like cartoon. Spacetoon is a mix of anime, anime, more anime, cartoons, anime, and unoriginal programming and more anime.

Solar System

The solar system according to Spacetoon. It looks like a Disney movie fever dream.

These are planets that exist in real life, guys! They really look like they do! Can’t you see they’re real? Spacetoon makes up stuff to convince kids to work for space exploration companies like NASA, and SpaceX. Here are the planets in-universe fictitious planets. The shows aired on Spacetoon are aired on separate programming blocks which are the quote unquote “planets”. Because these planets are the names of genres and the name of certain items, they should add a planet for everything. I don’t know like, maybe the Poop Planet, Nazi Planet, Boring Planet, or the Syria Planet.

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