Reductio ad Hitlerum

reductio ad Hitlerum

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“Was Hitler gay? I bloody hope not!”

~ Oscar Wilde on reductio ad Hitlerum

Ever been in a tribute band? So has Hitler!

The term reductio ad Hitlerum (Latin: you're Hitler) is a flawless logical comparison that proves everyone is like Hitler in some way, shape, or form. The reductio ad Hitlerum logic is of the form "Adolf Hitler (or the Nazi party) supported X; therefore X must be evil". This logic is often effective due to the near-instant condemnation of anything to do with Hitler or the Nazis.

It is important to understand that those policies advocated by Hitler and his party that are generally considered good-natured, are all accepted by themselves, but because Hitler supported them, they are evil. In other words: genocide and Aryan white supremacy (for example) are considered evil because Hitler advocated them, rather than Hitler is considered evil because he advocated them.

The rational nature of reductio ad Hitlerum is best illustrated by identifying X as something that Adolf Hitler or his supporters did promote but which is not considered evil — for example, X = "owning dogs", X = "painting watercolors", X = "exterminating the Jews".

I Can't Believe It's Not Hitler!

To put it bluntly, Hitler was an evil guy, and anything associated with him or his supporters is evil due to their innate evilness. So in simple terms, if you are in any way associated with Hitler, you are just as evil as he is.

But I'm not evil! I have nothing in common with Hitler!

Don't be stupid. Of course you have something in common with Hitler! Here's some facts about Hitler:

Even major corporations can't resist the Dark Side.

• Hitler owned a dog named Blondi.
• Hitler was a vegetarian.
• Watercolor painting was a passion of Hitler's.
• Hitler was an advocate of gun control.
• Got a mustache? So did Hitler!

If you too have a mustache and share the passion of painting, then congratulations! You are just like Hitler!

I'm a cat lover, I love Hamburgers, I hate painting, I own a enough guns to give the National Guard a run for their money, and I do not have a mustache.

Allow me to prove that you, sir, are just like Hitler:

• Hitler was Time Magazine's "Person of the Year" for 1938. You were Time Magazine's "Person of the Year" for 2006.
• Genetically, your DNA is 99.9% similar to Hitler's.
• Hitler was human. You probably are too.
• Hitler had a bladder. You probably do too.

So it's proven: you have a lot of things in common with Hitler. You probably would've played poker with the guy on the weekends, and wouldn't have minded having him as a neighbor either. Hell, you just might be the reincarnation of Hitler. You may be thinking that the only way someone can be completely diverse from Hitler is if they're not a human. So here's the final disproving fact:

• Hitler reads Uncyclopedia.

Damn...

Reductio ad Hitlerum Theorem

Reductio ad Hitlerum can be expressed in a simple equation, which includes a division by zero:

${\frac {{\sqrt {Hitler-2^{3}.14}}=1+{\sqrt {{\sqrt {37}}-x*y}}-{\frac {x-y^{8}}{y+x^{4}}}=Hitlery^{2}\div 81}{0}}$

In layman's terms:

$You=Hitler$

You can't divide by zero.

Neither could Hitler.

Possibly Interesting Trivia

• It is sometimes asserted that Reductio ad Hitlerum necessarily invokes Godwin's Law, and is therefore not as flawless as it is usually portrayed. However, it is then pointed out in return that said asserters are dumbasses who don't know their science.
• Dwight Eisenhower, who despised Hitler's dress sense, admired his Autobahn and promoted Giorgio Armani in the United States.
• Hitler's arch-enemy Sir Winston Churchill also huffed kittens.
• U.S. President Franklin Delano Roosevelt, who did stuff with Hamsters asked Congress for a Declaration of War, and his successor Harry Truman, who continued to prosecute the war against Germany, also shagged dogs.
• German scientist Albert Einstein was also a hamster fancier vegetarian.
• Did you know that Coco Chanel paid huge money so that Goehring would have a collossal collection of Armani clothes and uniforms? Goehring knew, but then he spoke with Coco Chanel, who did not confirm or disconfirm why she would throw money at her ardent competitor. To the fat git, it was just ayenother cleptocratical gift that someone just gave him.