Pep Boys

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search
The Pep Boys have become the scourge of many urban downtown zones.

The Pep Boys (Manny, Moe & Jack) are a far-right lane neo-gasist organization that admits only men and engages in political shouting matches and racing tournaments.

Humble beginnings[edit]

The organization was originally named Pep Auto Supply Company and was founded in 1921 by Emanuel "Manny" Rosenfeld, Maurice "Moe" Strauss, and Graham "Jack" Jackson. Shemp and Curly-Joe were latter-day additions to the executive suite. They are headquartered in the Philadelphia suburb of Agony West and provide automotive maintenance and repair, and parts and advice for the do-it-yourselfer.

The business's transformation into political violence occurred in 2016 as part of the alt-right movement. In 2017, the Pep Boys distanced themselves, claiming that the alt-right's focus is race while their focus is good gas mileage. The group believes that men — especially white men — and Western culture — notably, a clean car with a fresh coat of wax — are under siege.

Black Cars Matter[edit]

Go to the Front Page
UnNews Senior Editors are currently furiously fact-checking this related article:

Wendy files paternity suit against Pep Boys

Officially, the group rejects white supremacy, following Henry Ford's dictum that the customer should be able to order a car in any color desired, "as long as it is black." However, members have participated in multiple racist events, such as the Charlottesville, Virginia rally to protect historical NASCAR statues (all of which are white, or at least their coatings are), and numerous rallies for Donald Trump at the Daytona 500.

The organization promotes gender stereotypes in which women are subservient to men. It has an auxiliary wing named "Pep Boys' Girls," should any women come along who are interested in that sort of thing. The Anti-Defamation League has accused the Pep Boys of "venerating the housewife" and calling for monogamy. Transgender men — that is, Pep Girls claiming to be Pep Boys — are not allowed to join.

Official interest[edit]

In 2018, the FBI classified the Pep Boys as an "extremist group with ties to white nationalism." This was the year the FBI also classified Trump as a pawn of Vladimir Putin. However, two weeks later, an FBI official denied they intended to classify the whole group and merely said that Curly Joe seemed like a bit of a goon.

The organization has been described as a hate group by National Public Radio and the Southern Poverty Law Center (SPLC), which have also condemned Taco Bell, the Humane Society, and several campaigns for Dog Catcher in the Southern United States.

Rallies[edit]

In July 2019, a Pep Boys rally called "Demand Free Speech" took place in Washington, D.C., drawing literally dozens of people. Between speeches, the organization regaled attendees with music, restyling itself as the Pet Shop Boys. Vendors in food trucks sold the crowd poor boys.

See also[edit]