From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search
The earliest known example of metaporn: A photograph (1871) of Whistler's mother, posing whilst immensly enjoying a video production of Strumpets in Crumpets: Strumpets On Ice II.

Metaporn is, to put it simply, pornography about pornography.

Discovery of the effects of Metaporn[edit]

In 1997, erotic psychologists made the surprising discovery that printed descriptions of popular pornographic magazines were sufficient in themselves to trigger the classic erectile response in male laboratory hamsters, which had hitherto been assumed to be possible only via direct visual contact with the magazines thus depicted. This new-found and stunning revelation has completely overturned the internal dynamics of the vast porno industry, and has led to an unprecedented proliferation of an exciting new level of artistic art lying well beyond the bounds of run-of-the-mill naughtiness.

Metaporn goes Mainstream[edit]

In only a matter of months, newstands across America were flooded with premium magazines chock-full of lurid photographs (complete with titillating captions) of fully-clothed non-descript people salivating over various (alleged) pornographic materials, which materials were always just outside of camera range (as the captions never failed to explicitly point out). This allowed the average person to finally experience, in the perverted privacy of their own homes, the vicarious pleasures of pretending what it must be like to actually see actual pornography first-hand.

Metaporn goes Hollywood[edit]

The first critically-acclaimed metaporno film was Bernice Goes to See "Debbie Does Dallas" (2002) which consisted solely of the various shocked expressions of a matronly woman who accidentally ended up in the wrong cinema theatre. It proved to be so popular with the film-going public that metaporn production quickly dominated all of Hollywood and permanently threw thousands of regular porno actors out of work and into the cold harsh streets, where they were forced to prostitute themselves by relating verbal descriptions of sex acts to total strangers just to survive.

The future of Metaporn[edit]

Now that metaporn has dominated and otherwise supplanted plain-old ordinary porn in all postmodern forms of popular media exchange such as radio and television and Teh Internets and HDTV and pirated software, alarmed sociologists warn us that there may be a new threat which just might be lurking over the invisible horizon and ready to pounce without mercy upon the last shreds of moral fiber still standing tall and proud in our otherwise depraved and hedonistic culture... yes... a new insidious danger to our already overloaded sense organs and other organs... it may be only a matter of time before we all fall victim to tempting and mouth-watering depictions of metaporn...

With the installation as standard of webcams on all Telescreens, a new form of metaporn has arisen. Namely, watching other people watch porn. Some people who are connected to the metaporn networks have reported the unusual situation of watching someone who is watching them back. This can be highly awkward for all the involved parties. METAMETAPORN!

See also[edit]