Megalomaniac
“I am Oscar, king of kings, look on my works ye mighty and despair.”
“POWER!!!!!!! UNLIMITED POWERRRRRRRRRR!!!!!”
Megalomania is a mental condition affecting numerous high-powered superior human beings who were obviously destined for greatness and whom you could never hope to match. Well, yes anyway, as I was saying before I got sidetracked, megalomania is defined as a preoccupation with obsessive fantasies of limitless wealth, power, brilliance or beauty or even all four. Megalomaniacs are usually either obsessed with gaining these things or may believe they already possess them. In most cases, they already possess all four.
How to spot a megalomaniac[edit]
Megalomaniacs are easy to spot as they are visually striking people with great charisma and a powerful stage presence, who cause everyone to look up as soon as they enter a room. When a megalomaniac speaks, all ears listen. Basically me. Megalomaniacs are also fond of large swivel chairs (invented by megalomaniac Thomas Jefferson), Persian cats which they enjoy stroking almost as much as their own egos, enormous, spherical space stations with planet destroying capabilities and vast armies that grovel at their command. Despite their fondness for grandiosity and extravagance, megalomaniacs are in no way trying to compensate for anything as they are invariably extremely well endowed.
Physical traits[edit]
“With great power, comes great facial hair.”
Megalomaniacs are often scarred in some way as a result of some dangerous adventure they have embarked on in their illustrious past, though this only adds to their dashing appearance as given their god-like capacities, they are incapable of appearing anything less than completely gorgeous. Megalomaniacs are also known to wear capes which confidently display their ability to soar above the masses. However some megalomaniacs may chose to wear a uniform to show their militaristic side. Megalomaniacs often sport mustaches in order to amplify their immense virility or may even have no nose at all on account of being part snake.
Clinical views[edit]
Renowned mathematician and expert on Megalomania John Nash has stated that the condition is entirely benign and the confidence and lofty ideas that it engenders in a person are largely recreational in nature. Mister Nash then excused himself on the basis that he was late for his coronation as Emperor of Antarctica.
Doctor Heinz Kohut however considers megalomania an aggressive and malignant disorder, describing it as synonymous with delusions of grandeur before resuming reading of his book on the life of Alexander the Great.
Sam Vaknin on the other hand told interviewer Professor S. Katz "Do I have megalomania? Of course not." Professor Katz then answered "I didn't ask you if you did." Mr Vaknin answered "Oh, right."
Megalomaniac paranoia[edit]
“I am NOT paranoid, people are just trying to convince me that I'm paranoid in order to drive me mad because they're jealous of me. What are you doing with that dagger?”
The mixed condition of megalomania with paranoia is reputed to be a classic psychiatric condition.
“No, really?”
Among the recent psychiatric publications discussing the subject is DSM-IV.
Of the historical figures that have been defined as paranoid megalomaniacs are winner of Times Person of the Year award, Nicolae Ceauşescu, Vidkun Quisling and former dictator Tony Blair.