Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/May 4

Jedi will dance with just about anyone.

May 4: Jedi New Year

• 321 - The date no one thought would ever happen, finally does.
• 1367 - King Philo of Wallachia discovers flatulence.
• 1594 - Dwarf hunting is declared illegal in France when the Jew and Huguenot season is extended.
• 1904 - The USA begins its first efforts to curb illegal immigration with the groundbreaking of the Panama Canal, separating North and South America.
• 1905 - Weebles wobble.
• 1924 - Weebles still won't fall down.
• 1930 - A time-travelling Jimbo Wales accidentally causes the Great Depression.
• 1939 - Thomas Jefferson ends up being the first president to become a rock star.
• 1961 - Martin Luther King has a dream about going to school naked.
• 1965 - Tony Blair announces the John Prescott Widening Project in order to increase the amount of pies John Prescott can eat. This reduces his ability to make incomprehensible sentences. Millions rejoice.
• 1966 - Robin Cook is appointed as Chief Incomprehensible Sentence Maker by the Queen. Millions saddened.
• 1968 - Robin Williams visits Earth and pals around with Gene Roddenberry and William Shatner. More than 40 years of science fiction hub-bub and techno-crap follow, creating really cool inventions like the transporter and Klingons.
• 1977 - Star Wars is released with the tag line "May the fourth be with you". The director will be fired to making up such a ludicrous pun. Douchebag.
• 1980 - Ronald Reagan loses in a winner-take-all paintball tournament sponsored by Jodie Foster.
• 1986 - Ronald Reagan awakes to a new day, but has no idea why.
• 2004 - The first annual Nigerian Email Writers Convention is held; millions attend.
• 2007 - Queen Elizabeth enjoys the Kentuckistan Derby and buys a beer bong. She will later crowd surf the mosh pit in the infield.