Local government

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Local government is, while local, not really a government at all, being that it lacks the necessary 'n'. Primarily occurring in the less-developed states of the United States of America, like Texas, Oklahoma or Russia, local government is the practice of setting up a government intended solely to govern a small radius. But, almost always realizing that the attempt to govern over geometric distances and figures is fruitless, these entities then attempt to govern small amounts of territory including, but not limited to, cities and towns.


Arlington, Texas: In 1932, the Rathbone family expatriated from the Democratic Republic of Their House and set up a small colony in the uncharted territory of Their Neighbour's Lawn in order to escape religious persecution set about by their hamster. They were deported back to their former homeland by Harold Williams, the Pope of the Theocracy of the Williams' Residence, where the hamster-dictator ordered them all killed, then proceeded to run on his exercise wheel for fourteen minutes.

Eskridge, Kansas: In 2006, the Berry Tractor company sold a small bulldozer to a single family outside the "city" of Topeka. This family applied to the Kansan "government" for the creation of a township. They were awarded the rights to start a town based on the fact that they had a bull-doser.

Odessa, Russia: In 1963, Vladimir Nameski declared that his front lawn was his property, therefore giving him the right to govern it as he wished. He declared that on his front lawn, prostitution was to be legal and he could butt ahead in any bread line. He soon realized that there were no prostitutes or bread lines in front of his house, sold his front lawn back to the Kremlin for $10,000,000 RU, bought himself some high-class hookers, and was immediately jailed for illegal prostitution.

Oklahoma City, Oklahoma: In 1995, in the world record for "Smallest Local Government", one Doris Henderson, upset by having a bad hair day, declared her hair as its own government. She then added it to the Axis of Personal Evil, along with a malfunctioning microwave in the kitchen and her son's failing grade on a math test. She declared war on her hair when it refused to cooperate to her styling demands, and called upon the US army for militaristic aid in her battle with her unstylable hair. After a brief skirmish, including a tense showdown between Donald Rumsfeld and the nation of Doris' Hair, a sniper shot took out the rogue nation. Sadly, it is believed that Doris' Hair enlisted the aid of suicide bombers, as Doris Henderson was taken down with her hair in an explosion of blood and the prevalence of democracy.

Himanka City, Funland: Is an example of archaic small local government, which lacks 'n' and belongs to the category of cities with limited territory and multiple existences, as it locates not only in Funland but also in Japan ([1]), Nippon ([2]), Hungary ([3]), Arizona ([4]) and Burma ([5]). It is primarily located by the seashore and off the beaten tracks and some other information superhighways. It has been said to be an outcome of Finlandisierung, which originated in the 14th-century European Union (EU) and European Economic Area (EEA), and in the later centuries pushed Fenno-Ugric people to the frontiers of unknown land, close to the Ear Mountain ([6]), where Santa Claus is said to spend his free time with Lady Claus. Their children are called hobbits. Himanka City is a demilitarised zone and a forerunner of a new rural movement that walks hand-in-hand with the nature towards global sustainable creative high-tech city development, relying on the famous localisation formula . In this sense it is very different from some other rural cities, such as Arlene, Texas, which suffer from hot climate and larger territorial extensions.