HowTo:Vandalise Uncyclopedia
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So, you just got your school's last computer banned from Wikipedia and now have a presentation on Thomas Hobbes that was due yesterday? Now you have to go home to face failure and disappointment after 4th block today to face being grounded unless you actually pass the 9th grade this year. Face it. You can't learn, you have only destruction in your heart and the only math you know is the difference between the price of a rimjob from your friend's mom and the price of a can of Pringles. Time to take it all out on the next unsuspecting wiki...Uncyclopedia!
Breaking stuff is fun. Breaking websites is even more fun. Just follow these step by step instructions and you'll take minutes away from the admins' lives that they can never have back while they revert your pages.
- Be aware of your surroundings When your teacher isn't looking, tilt your monitor slightly away from her so that she doesn't see what you're doing. This is a crafty little trick that creates an invisible shield for you to operate under. She won't suspect a thing. Also, keep another window open to some other, less suspicious website, such as Google. Everyone loves Google. They smile because Google is a silly word. If she somehow penetrates the perimeter, you can hit Alt+Tab to quickly switch windows. (or Alt+F4 for free stuff)
- Find a suitable target Steer clear of the Mel Gibson/Chuck Norris/Hilary Clinton pages. You can't really fuck those pages up any more than they already are. Besides, the admins are just waiting for you there. They want you to mess with those pages because they're n00b traps. Go look at a list of inside jokes and pick a few to fuck up. Now that you're on the article page...
- Click "edit" and
- Dick around There's a couple ways you can go about this. Feeling lazy? Obviously so, since you're not doing that Thomas Hobbes project. What you need is a good blank. Blanking pages is the fastest way to make Uncyclopedia work for you. Take out some popular pages, like AAAAAAAAA!, or Grue. When people discover that these glorious pages are gone, they'll be horrified. But you want to make sure that no one got there first. However, if you feel like being original and know the words "fuck", "penis", and "George W. Bush", then you can put some effort into screwing up a page by inserting these words in any order you like and then giggling after you save the page and the article really changes. Whichever road you take, the next and final step is to
- Snicker and tell your friend at the computer across the room (since you dickheads got separated faster than conjoined twins at a Bass Pro Shop) to open the same article that you just vandalized so that he can share in your delight. He will then prove that he is just as inept and dyslexic as you and come over across the room to look at it on your computer. Then, proceed to the center table and use the large, unfunny, uneditable encyclopedia as you finish your Thomas Hobbes project under the ever-watchful eye of your teacher. Nice going dumbass.