Bias

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“...bias in all its forms ... is ... good.”

~ Oscar Wilde on bias

Bias is widely recognised by 100 percent of the world population as the most efficient way of presenting facts and information ever. Bias, also known as the truth, is superior in every way to neutrality, which involves presenting truth and lies alongside each other as though they are equal. The inevitable triumph of bias over all other methods of presenting data has been shown by the fact that Uncyclopedia's popularity has soared tenfold above that of Wikipedia every day for the last ten years.

Two Ideas

There are two main ideas when it comes to bias: biased bias, and unbiased bias.

The face of bias.

Bi a sed Bias

B ia se d bias is the poop view on poop. Whil st bias itself is fl awl ess, bia sed bias is bad because it only presents one side of i t. Of course, the group of p eople who claim that the de fi nit ion of th e te rm bias is clear cut and non-negotiable are clearly crackheads and also Nazi scumbags.

Unbiased Bias

Unbiased bias presents the pure and simple truth in a manner which is totally fair, because it is the truth. The smarter, more attractive and and better hung group of people who use unbiased bias tend to be much more open minded about complicated subject like this. So in essence, the unbiased bias group claims to be unbiased towards the concept of being biased. Now, go buy us some coffee.

This Wikipedia logo is so infused with the bias it represents that it just can't keep still.

The Definitions of Bias

Note:

For the sake of neutrality, the author of the article will try to write just a simple analytical description of both points of view. If this fails then, for the sake of neutrality, I'd like to redirect you to Svittzeurlundt.

Biased Bias

The stupid notion that the term BIAS is well defined claims the following:

(source : wikipedia) A bias is a prejudice in a general or specific sense, usually in the sense for having a preference to one par- ticular point of view or ideological perspective. However, one is generally only said to be biased if one's powers of judgment are influenced by the biases one holds, to the extent that one's views could not be taken as being neutral or objective, but instead as subjective. A bias could, for example, lead one to accept or deny the truth of a claim, not on the basis of the strength of the arguments in support of the claim themselves, but because of the extent of the claims correspondence with one's own preconceived ideas. Man, you just got told.

This article is clearly biased towards the idea about what they believe that bias is. But only with their own biased definition of something that is bias. If Wikipedia, for instance, would not be biased about the article about bias, it would include our non-biased notion of the concept of being biased. Then they would see that their biased idea about being biased is, well, biased.

Unbiased Bias

The real one...

The term "bias" is not well defined and could be used in other, often more positive ways. To claim the definition of being biased is just that it is completely biased towards that idea. Since we choose debate over stubbornness, we are clearly the better man, and not biased at all.

Bias, apart from the standard (but not only) definition, could also be:

• To totally disagree with mathematical certainties. E.g. 1+2=3,

or pi = 3.14159...

• To put cheese in your morning coffee.
• Kitten huffing puma cups.
• 42.
• Satan's golden retriever.

We do not say that it does, in fact, mean all this or, for that matter, any of this, but we are not biased about it. Those other people who try to tie down the concept of bias into a single, and obviously flawed, definition of the word are bias stink.

It is known that a third subgroup exist that claim that the concept of bias could, indeed, mean anything you want it to. These people are nuts and should be shot on sight for their flawed view on the subject.

Fun Facts

• If you say the word "bias" out loud a lot of times really fast,

it totally loses all of its meaning.

• The word "bias" backwards is "saib," which sound like the hindi

word for man-slave.

• A Microsoft protocol uses the acronym B.I.A.S. in its software

(Backside Input Ass-cock (tee hee) System). 

Specific Things About Which I Am Totally Not Biased

• The fact that Uncyclopedia does not allow the editing of the Barack Obama page.
• The fact that alternative healers are big scamming crackheads.

See also

• Prejudice
• Point of view