Arby's

He is thinking Arby's for sure.

Arby's was founded by Arnold J. Picadillby, who hated his name and after over 63 name changes decided on taking the first and last two letters of his name to make the simple name of Arby. Since the judge who changed his name was a fraud that was really a Scandinavian street dancer, he settled on changing his restaurant's name from A.P. Buttbuddy's to Arby's. After being forced to close down Booger King, Ronald McDonald purchased Arby's as his newest gambit with which to destroy Burger King. The roast beef he serves comes form the mad cows he uses to make Happy meals for McDonald's.

Early Days

When Picadillby started his restaurant in 1624, they specalized in exotic meals, such as roast beef curtains, made with termite fecal matter, but as the 1700's came around, the demand for the literal "Poo-Poo" platter plummeted. So Arby's decided to change their direction into raw pork skin sandwiches. After health concerns, they decided to lightly roast the skins in melted plastic and, in Southern California locations, gold alloy.

The Evil 90's

Epic clashes of Arby Jedi Masters ensure the formulation of the secret sauce.

A drastic change of power happened during the 90's at Arbys. Bloated by its success with the Market Fresh© line, Arby's became power hungry, and attempted to flush out the strong Jedi presence that protected the secret recipe for Arby's Sauce. Many Bothans died, of course, but the recipe was safe thanks to the galant work of Jedi Master Bon Puda Kyle Kloetzly and his band of Rebels. The evil Filipino empire did not succeed in turning the restaurant into a "rice shack" and the secret was safe for years to come.

The annual Arby's showdown

In the tradition of the Arby's franchise, an annual western showdown takes place on the third week of July. The most worthy employee in each Arby's in a state takes part in a duel to the death. Each worthy employee representing their Arby's goes up against each other one at a time armed with Colt revolvers. Whoever wins the event gets five more dollars in their paycheck and the glory of surviving the Arby's showdown.

The spread of this event soon got the attention of the FBI. They have since been watching over this so called operation even though no proof or leads have been found since the showdown is hosted from state to state. This year's showdown will be hosted by Ronald McDonald's older brother Michael Jackson at Neverland Ranch.