Weapons of Mass Distraction
“Sorry, what did you ask? Something caught my attention”
“I like...How Much?”
“They keep staring at my eyes.”
Weapons of Mass Distraction are powerful tools in modern warfare, and are one of the proposed cures for mental retardation.
The simple, yet effective, design of the Weapons of Mass Distraction is the result of years of research by prehistoric cavepeople. They have managed to inject the genetic blueprints of these simple devices into the DNA of women, making sure there is an infinite source of Weapons of Mass Distraction when needed. In fact the Australian army pays for enlargements for this purpose.
These Weapons of Mass Distraction are designed to work in pairs. If one of them gets damaged due to too much attention, there is another one to take over the task.
Also used as a common weapon by tourists, the Weapons of Mass Distraction (also known as boobs, an oft used street term) are their primary defense against the War on Tourism. Regular usage of these tandemized weapons causes utter chaos and confusion amongst the soldiers fighting in the War on Tourism, rendering them helpless. They also have a more peaceful use in grabbing attention to important people/things. See BOOB life vest.
Other popular victims of the use of Weapons of Mass Distraction by tourists include:
- Bassie en Adriaan
- George W. Bush (altough he has never been in the army)
- Mark Twain
- Japanese Tourists
- Random sailors